The Ember

I finished that poem I started the other night. Here it is:

The Ember

A tiny ember glowed in the dark.
It was hardly bright enough to notice,
But it made a tiny warm space in my heart.

Covered in ashes, slowly burning out,
There was no fuel to feed it.
I was slowly dying within and without.

There was a persistent knocking at my door.
Knock...knock...knock.
I couldn’t ignore it any more.

When I answered, I had an attitude.
“What do you want?” and slammed the door.
I really was quite rude.

He was a gentleman, and quietly replied
That He could help me if I would listen.
He was quite willing to be my guide.

I wasn’t about to toe His line.
I was supposed to be in charge!
Who could know better than me about my life?

Then, when my ember was almost dead,
When things that were bad went to worse,
I remembered what the gentleman had said.

I opened the door and asked Him in.
I asked what He could really do to help me.
He touched that ember, brought it to life again.

That ember began to glow,
The ashes began to fall,
And I began to hope.

He touched my heart.
He stopped the raw, bleeding wounds.
He gave me a fresh start.

What had been numb, I began to feel.
I couldn’t believe how many places I hurt
As I slowly began to heal.

Sometimes it’s hard to tell apart
Whether the problem is my body or my soul
As I deal with each issue of my heart.

As I am healed and becoming whole,
I’ll always have scars from the wounds
Because this is a lifelong process, you know.

Who was it? Who didn’t give up on me?
His name is Jesus, whom I love and trust.
He lit the fire that set me free.

Embers and Fire

I'm thinking about fire tonight. I read a couple of poems I wrote called Butterfly Wings and one called Billy and started thinking about fire for some reason. And now there's a poem in the works. So far it looks like this:



A tiny ember glowed in the dark.
It was hardly bright enough to notice,
But it made a tiny warm space in my heart.



Covered in ashes, slowly burning out,
There was no fuel to feed it,
I was slowly dying within and without.



And then I started thinking about the color of embers, and how they're red, and that's the same color of blood, and that led me to thinking about how Jesus died for us and covers us with His blood. I am so grateful that He was willing to do this for us. I know that I would not be where I am today without Jesus. I was a mess, trying to control the chaos around me and not succeeding, trying to keep the space around me calm and peaceful and getting nowhere close.



But that tiny ember got fed a little fuel called love, and turned into a flame. The flame kept getting fed love, and some hope got thrown in, and it turned into a campfire. Then the campfire turned into a bonfire because a lot more fuel got put into it -- hope, love, peace, joy, mercy, grace, righteousness, holiness, compassion, jealousy, and so much more than I can even think of right now. And that bonfire has been keeping me clean because it burns off the things that aren't from God, and makes me a better person. It makes me want to sing "Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and all that is within me. Bless His holy name." I think it's cool that everything in me, both the good and the bad, has to bow down and bless the Lord. And then I want to dance. Then I want to sing some more. And here I am, writing encouragement into me so I can have more hope and faith that I am doing what God wants me to do, and instead of going to bed I want to dance and shout for joy! God is so good!



Anyway, those were my thoughts for tonight. Embers are red. Blood is red. And red is my favorite color. Always has been. For me, red is not for anger, red is for love. Even when I was a kid and didn't know anything about God, because I was not brought up in the church. When I stop to think about it, I'm surprised I am who I am today because I sure enough shouldn't be here if all the things that have gone on in my life had come to fruition. God has had His hand on me my entire life, I just didn't know it back then. Thank you, Lord, for your mercy and grace, for your love, your peace, your joy. Time for bed now or I won't want to get up in the morning.

Walking With God

Driving down a country road on a dark, dark night reminds me of my walk with God.

When there is no light except the moon and stars, you have to be very careful of where you're going. You have trouble seeing, and you can't go faster than the headlights shining in front of you. If you go too fast, you could take a wrong turn and wind up in the ditch or field. When I'm in that stage, I'm all tense and anxious and trying to be in control of something I really have no control over.

When I don't slow down and listen to God, I get sidetracked into something that probably isn't good for me. Getting back on track is a lot easier than getting out of the ditch. Getting back on track requires work as well. I still need to read my Bible; I still need to pray; I still need to worship God.

God is waiting for me to turn around and come back to Him whenever I get sidetracked (and that happens often, though less now than it used to). He loves me whatever condition I'm in. And when I stay focused on Him, He lights my path and the darkness around me dissipates so I can see, especially with my spiritual eyes. When I stay focused on Him, grace and mercy cover my back, arm in arm, and I am safe. As long as I stay focused on Him, grace and mercy help to get me through whatever I'm going through. Faith helps a lot too, and gets stronger every time I have to go through a test of some kind.

I can tell the differences in my walk with God. Sometimes I see only a candle flame, beckoning me to go forward and not look back. Looking back is okay for learning the lessons, but looking back takes my focus off God and I just fall farther and farther away. The candle flame keeps me focused because I can see it even though the darkness is dissipated only a little.

As I move closer to God, the light becomes more like a campfire, warm and welcoming, keeping the darkness at bay. There is comfort in a campfire, and I like watching the embers as the fire dies down.

And the closer I get to God, the bigger and hotter the fire gets, until it's like a bonfire. That bonfire burns away the debris of sin and anything else that doesn't make me pure and holy. It's a cleansing fire, and I become refined in the fire. It doesn't hurt me, although the sound and heat make me think it would. But I come out of that bonfire a better person, stronger, more hopeful, more faithful, more enthusiastic and eager to do what God wants me to do. That fire helps me to become holy, because my God is holy.

God is great. God is good. God loves us so much, and blesses us so much, it's surprising we keep turning away from Him. I'm glad He keeps His arms open wide until I go into them so He can hold me closer than any person on this earth can.

My prayer is that I stay on the path with the light, with Jesus to lean on or carry me when I need it. I pray that for you as well.