I haven't posted for a year, which is sad. But it's been a year of battles, and I was not thinking about keeping them posted on here. Facebook after every doctor visit was enough.
It is through God's amazing grace that I am still here. After the diagnosis that the cancer was back, things went quickly. From a doctor visit to a CAT scan to the hospital for tests to having a portacath inserted into my chest to chemo in a matter of two weeks. Eight chemo treatments, and I went into remission. Now, monthly hormone shots for the rest of my life, and an infusion to help my bones every four months. From not walking without assistance to being able to walk a little over a mile almost every day. From coughing a LOT to almost no cough at all. But amazingly, thanks to God's grace, no other illnesses during this entire time...no colds, no flu, nothing. How wonderful is our God?
I found out after I was in remission that I was dying when I first went in. If I had not gone to the doctor when I had, I would not be here today. But today, when people ask me how I'm doing, my answer is: "I have more good days than bad." I can overcome pain most of the time with ibuprofen. When I asked for a refill of the pain meds, I asked for half the number of pills so they wouldn't have to be thrown away. Why get 30 pills when I only need one once a month or so?
I'm eating healthier than ever before. My glucose levels are almost down to normal, my cholesterol levels are stable although not as low as the doctors would like, and the weight is slowly going down (although not as fast as I would like!). Not working has taken so much stress out of my life, it's amazing. I attend a church I like, although I haven't had a chance to meet too many people yet. One of my poems is going to be put to music at the church! I'm excitedly waiting for that to be finished. And life in general is good. I am content with where I am, but also looking into going into business for myself so I can get off disability. I can't handle a regular job...I can't sit too long and I can't stand too long. Working at home will be one way of not depending on disability and building towards my future. God is putting things in order and I know that if I do my part I will be successful at it.
My oncologist is very good. My prognosis is very good. He tells me that as long as I am knitting I will be fine. The knitting and crocheting help me stay focused. I don't worry about myself, and I pray for whomever will be getting the item I'm making. Good things all around.
So I'll be posting more poetry here again. And though I'm not writing as much as I was, it is still good. And I am thankful to God for walking through this trial with me so that I can write so well. He is so awesome. There were a lot of days when He was carrying me, but now I am even dancing with Him sometimes, as long as I'm careful. But I also believe I have another 40 or 50 years here on this earth, and I want Him to be very pleased with me. I know I have more tests coming my way. They are a fact of this life. But during all the battles these last 21 months, I know this: That my reality may be I have cancer, but the TRUTH is that I have the divine health of the Lord.
Be blessed.
Mary
Showing posts with label mercy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mercy. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Friday, November 4, 2011
Being Thankful
Being thankful is not a hard thing to be,
Because God has set me free,
Free from the chains of my past,
Free with a joy that will forever last.
I was such a mess at the start,
Not so much now as I let Him heal my heart.
I carried a heavy burden from my sin and shame,
Made even heavier from my grief and pain.
I wandered in darkness, confused and lost.
Somebody’s prayers helped me find the cross.
How I wept as I lay on my face,
Sorrowful at what I was, but amazed at God’s grace.
I don’t know how He could love someone like me.
I don’t understand His willingness to give His mercy
To someone full of rebellion and pride,
Failing miserably at running my own life.
But God loves me, and I walk in His grace and mercy.
God loves me, and is guiding me to victory.
So while I’m on this earth, and when I get to heaven,
I’ll do my absolute best to praise and thank Him, again and again.
Because God has set me free,
Free from the chains of my past,
Free with a joy that will forever last.
I was such a mess at the start,
Not so much now as I let Him heal my heart.
I carried a heavy burden from my sin and shame,
Made even heavier from my grief and pain.
I wandered in darkness, confused and lost.
Somebody’s prayers helped me find the cross.
How I wept as I lay on my face,
Sorrowful at what I was, but amazed at God’s grace.
I don’t know how He could love someone like me.
I don’t understand His willingness to give His mercy
To someone full of rebellion and pride,
Failing miserably at running my own life.
But God loves me, and I walk in His grace and mercy.
God loves me, and is guiding me to victory.
So while I’m on this earth, and when I get to heaven,
I’ll do my absolute best to praise and thank Him, again and again.
Friday, April 15, 2011
I Drink
I drink from the cup given to me The cup where life is not easy I drink from the cup of hard work, pain and sorrow From the cup where I worry about tomorrow I drink from the cup that causes me to frown From the cup that keeps knocking me down There is another cup, with something sweet There is another cup that I’d like to keep It’s the cup of mercy and grace It’s the cup that can forgive my mistakes This cup is offered to me every day, every minute But all too often I reject everything that’s in it I often drink from this cup only when life is too hard And I’m flat on my back with a broken heart Oh, how sad it is that I don’t drink from this cup every day The cup of sweetness where everything is God’s way I should drink constantly from the cup dipped into the River of Life Constantly drink from the cup that filters out chaos and strife I should drink constantly from the cup that offered me So I can find true relief from the cup that was given to me
Monday, September 13, 2010
The Sound of Grace
I was inspired by Joe Cross when he sang Amazing Grace at church Sunday, and added to something I had written some time ago. It fit so well, and I'm sure more will come.
The Sound of Grace
Titus 2:11
For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men.
John 1:17
For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now I see
The song says, "Amazing grace, how sweet the sound." The sound of "I love you" and "I forgive you" is sweet music to our ears. The sound of "I love you" brings comfort, security, and safety to our mind, our soul. The sound of "I forgive you" brings relief and release from our bondage and burdens. These sounds are so powerful they bring relief and peace to the hearer.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.
I was a mess, in a deep well of depression and oppression. I was sunk so low I never saw the light and I though I would never get out.
I once was lost, but now am found. Was blind, but now I see.
I was lost in the darkness. I could not see where to go, what to do or what to seek. I was so lost, and I thought there was no way out.
But a voice called to me, softly, gently, insistently, "Come to me, I will set you free. Come to the light and you will see the path to your freedom, and if you choose it, you never be in the darkness again. Come to me and I will set you free."
I went to the light, and what I saw inspired me, so I chose the light. Now I see the Blood of Jesus and how He set me free. Free from shame, free from guilt, free from darkness and the chains that bound me.
I chose the light. Now I fly with the eagles in the sky.
I chose the light and now I see the blessings that God rains on me: life, hope, peace, joy, faithfulness, mercy, grace, and so much, much more.
I chose the light and now I know God loves me and He sets me free. He sets me free because He loves me.
But there's more to grace than sound. What about the other actions of grace? What about the no condemnation? We no longer have to feel guilty about our past. It has been wiped clean. We can feel remorse, even grief, but it should not consume us. Because of God's grace, we can hold up our head and look another person in the eye. We don't have to hide with God inside us.
Because of grace, we can show compassion, mercy and love. We can give it to others because we have received so much ourselves. Because of grace, we are supposed to BE compassion, mercy and love. Grace and mercy are linked arm in arm and are watching our backs. We are safe in our walk with God because of grace and mercy.
We have received hope, joy, peace, love. Because of grace, we are able to receive these and so much more from God. And we don't have to worry about what is expected in return because it is freely given. The price has been paid.
The death of one for the salvation of millions...
What a price!
Because we fall under grace, mercy is granted to us. We must pay a price for our actions and words, but we aren't under God's wrath, and we won't be destroyed when we fall if we turn back to God. He promised this to Noah, and proves it with a rainbow after every rain...
in the rainbow - which is part of a circle, part of the ark of God.
God isn't carried around in a special wooden box called the ark any more. He's carried around in everything around us, but WE are His living temple. We are the temples not built with hands. And God uses us to show others who He is -
The Living God. The Just God. The Mighty God. The Jealous God. God, who is Love. The God who hands out Grace and Mercy to all of us who accept Him as our God, our Lord, our Saviour.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound. I agree.
But also, amazing grace, how sweet the actions and results that took a wretch like me and changed me into God's image...
Loving, compassionate, just, righteous, jealous, mighty, alive and full of light...
As long as we let Him rule.
Grace - amazing, isn't it, at what it can do.
We fall under grace. Because of our shortcomings, we fall down. We leave the favor of God. When we leave God's favor, we usually go to our knees (fall to our knees) or lay face down (fall on our faces) because of all the weight from the darkness, the burdens darkness puts upon us. When we repent, we fall down because we are seeking grace and mercy, and we are showing awe (fearful respect) at the power of God.
Ephesians 2:8, 9
8. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the give of God:
9. Not of works, lest any man should boast.
Grace raises us out of the ashes of death like a rising Phoenix, and leads us to life - everlasting life. Grace lifts us up. And then mercy follows and we are forgiven for turning away because we have returned. We have turned around to face God again. Isn't it funny how darkness weighs us down but grace lifts us up? Grace gives us the opportunity to accept the light, to be filled with God's light, to become lighter than air so we can soar with the Holy Spirit in the heavens.
Grace is an action word. Grace is movement. Grace is sound. Grace is sweeter than honey. Grace is beautiful. Grace is from God.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound.
Sin and death make us darker, make us move slower and slower, becoming more bent over, more stooped, closer to the grave. Sin and death make us darker and darker, move us farther and farther from the light. They weigh us down with burdens too heavy for us to carry and we fall down. We fail.
Grace takes us towards heaven, makes us victorious, makes us free to fly, to soar.
If it wasn't for grace (and mercy, because mercy is grace's constant companion), we would never have the opportunity to live in eternal light. We would not have the opportunity to be loved and to love as God loves us. In my opinion, grace is one of the best blessings God has given us because it is among the first given to us and it lasts the longest.
The sound of grace: I love you. I forgive you.
The inner ear, where we hear the sound of grace, is made up of the hammer, anvil, stirrup, and the eardrum.
The hammer and anvil of grace: tap, tap, tap. They break the hardness of our hearts. They enable us to become more flexible, less set in our ways. The anvil helps us to become the pliable clay God can mold into His image.
Becoming pliable isn't easy. That's why there's mercy along with grace. It's hard for us to let God have His way. We want our feet in the stirrups, not His. We want to have our own way, not God's. We don't want to be led. But when we step aside and let God do His thing, even whenwe don't understand the wherefores or the whys, we become as God because we are God who lives in us. We are part of the I AM, the living God. We are cells and members of one family, one body.
Grace and mercy follow us, are a part of us, and if we are part of God, we are showing that same grace and mercy to everyone else, Christian and non-Christian alike, for we are all sinners and have fallen short in our efforts to reach holiness, to reach God.
The sound of grace:
I love you, so I forgive you. I forgive you because I love you.
God's grace. Amazing grace, how sweet the sound. Amazing, isn't it, at what grace can do.
For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men.
John 1:17
For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now I see
The song says, "Amazing grace, how sweet the sound." The sound of "I love you" and "I forgive you" is sweet music to our ears. The sound of "I love you" brings comfort, security, and safety to our mind, our soul. The sound of "I forgive you" brings relief and release from our bondage and burdens. These sounds are so powerful they bring relief and peace to the hearer.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.
I was a mess, in a deep well of depression and oppression. I was sunk so low I never saw the light and I though I would never get out.
I once was lost, but now am found. Was blind, but now I see.
I was lost in the darkness. I could not see where to go, what to do or what to seek. I was so lost, and I thought there was no way out.
But a voice called to me, softly, gently, insistently, "Come to me, I will set you free. Come to the light and you will see the path to your freedom, and if you choose it, you never be in the darkness again. Come to me and I will set you free."
I went to the light, and what I saw inspired me, so I chose the light. Now I see the Blood of Jesus and how He set me free. Free from shame, free from guilt, free from darkness and the chains that bound me.
I chose the light. Now I fly with the eagles in the sky.
I chose the light and now I see the blessings that God rains on me: life, hope, peace, joy, faithfulness, mercy, grace, and so much, much more.
I chose the light and now I know God loves me and He sets me free. He sets me free because He loves me.
But there's more to grace than sound. What about the other actions of grace? What about the no condemnation? We no longer have to feel guilty about our past. It has been wiped clean. We can feel remorse, even grief, but it should not consume us. Because of God's grace, we can hold up our head and look another person in the eye. We don't have to hide with God inside us.
Because of grace, we can show compassion, mercy and love. We can give it to others because we have received so much ourselves. Because of grace, we are supposed to BE compassion, mercy and love. Grace and mercy are linked arm in arm and are watching our backs. We are safe in our walk with God because of grace and mercy.
We have received hope, joy, peace, love. Because of grace, we are able to receive these and so much more from God. And we don't have to worry about what is expected in return because it is freely given. The price has been paid.
The death of one for the salvation of millions...
What a price!
Because we fall under grace, mercy is granted to us. We must pay a price for our actions and words, but we aren't under God's wrath, and we won't be destroyed when we fall if we turn back to God. He promised this to Noah, and proves it with a rainbow after every rain...
in the rainbow - which is part of a circle, part of the ark of God.
God isn't carried around in a special wooden box called the ark any more. He's carried around in everything around us, but WE are His living temple. We are the temples not built with hands. And God uses us to show others who He is -
The Living God. The Just God. The Mighty God. The Jealous God. God, who is Love. The God who hands out Grace and Mercy to all of us who accept Him as our God, our Lord, our Saviour.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound. I agree.
But also, amazing grace, how sweet the actions and results that took a wretch like me and changed me into God's image...
Loving, compassionate, just, righteous, jealous, mighty, alive and full of light...
As long as we let Him rule.
Grace - amazing, isn't it, at what it can do.
We fall under grace. Because of our shortcomings, we fall down. We leave the favor of God. When we leave God's favor, we usually go to our knees (fall to our knees) or lay face down (fall on our faces) because of all the weight from the darkness, the burdens darkness puts upon us. When we repent, we fall down because we are seeking grace and mercy, and we are showing awe (fearful respect) at the power of God.
Ephesians 2:8, 9
8. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the give of God:
9. Not of works, lest any man should boast.
Grace raises us out of the ashes of death like a rising Phoenix, and leads us to life - everlasting life. Grace lifts us up. And then mercy follows and we are forgiven for turning away because we have returned. We have turned around to face God again. Isn't it funny how darkness weighs us down but grace lifts us up? Grace gives us the opportunity to accept the light, to be filled with God's light, to become lighter than air so we can soar with the Holy Spirit in the heavens.
Grace is an action word. Grace is movement. Grace is sound. Grace is sweeter than honey. Grace is beautiful. Grace is from God.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound.
Sin and death make us darker, make us move slower and slower, becoming more bent over, more stooped, closer to the grave. Sin and death make us darker and darker, move us farther and farther from the light. They weigh us down with burdens too heavy for us to carry and we fall down. We fail.
Grace takes us towards heaven, makes us victorious, makes us free to fly, to soar.
If it wasn't for grace (and mercy, because mercy is grace's constant companion), we would never have the opportunity to live in eternal light. We would not have the opportunity to be loved and to love as God loves us. In my opinion, grace is one of the best blessings God has given us because it is among the first given to us and it lasts the longest.
The sound of grace: I love you. I forgive you.
The inner ear, where we hear the sound of grace, is made up of the hammer, anvil, stirrup, and the eardrum.
The hammer and anvil of grace: tap, tap, tap. They break the hardness of our hearts. They enable us to become more flexible, less set in our ways. The anvil helps us to become the pliable clay God can mold into His image.
Becoming pliable isn't easy. That's why there's mercy along with grace. It's hard for us to let God have His way. We want our feet in the stirrups, not His. We want to have our own way, not God's. We don't want to be led. But when we step aside and let God do His thing, even whenwe don't understand the wherefores or the whys, we become as God because we are God who lives in us. We are part of the I AM, the living God. We are cells and members of one family, one body.
Grace and mercy follow us, are a part of us, and if we are part of God, we are showing that same grace and mercy to everyone else, Christian and non-Christian alike, for we are all sinners and have fallen short in our efforts to reach holiness, to reach God.
The sound of grace:
I love you, so I forgive you. I forgive you because I love you.
God's grace. Amazing grace, how sweet the sound. Amazing, isn't it, at what grace can do.
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