As I look at all this yarn,
There's a warm feeling in my heart.
There are so many things I can make!
My fingers are itching to create
Hats for soldiers, afghans for the elderly,
Sweaters for children overseas.
A sweater, a shawl, a scarf, a hat,
Making something special is where I'm at.
An afghan to keep someone warm,
Booties for the baby being born.
Textures and colors to mix and match.
Knit or crochet, which fever will I catch?
Every time I go to the store,
When I see yarn, I want more!
All crafters have their stash.
When something's needed, "I can help with that."
Laugh at me, I don't care.
As long as I have yarn, I can share
A piece of me, a little bit of my heart.
Look at all this yarn! Where should I start?
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
My Thanksgiving
I've been a little busy and not had time to write here. But last night at church we had a great thanksgiving service, and three sermons in one! It was so fabulous. Pastor asked me to read a thanksgiving poem of mine, so I wrote this.
My Thanksgiving
People often don't understand
Why I so often dance and sing
Praises to the Lord, my God and King.
They understand life's been hard.
They realize it's been a struggle.
But why I dance? To them it's a puzzle.
I used to be a miserable person
With a soul so lonely and lost,
Until I heard of Jesus, met Him at the cross.
I could tell you the story of my life,
But it's really hard to explain
How joy came out of so much pain.
Jesus is the only way I can answer.
He has a special gift to give,
A gift that makes me want to live.
There are so many things He has done:
He pulled me out of the miry clay.
He walks with me each and every day.
Just for me, He was nailed on the cross.
When He died, and shed His blood,
He was thinking of us with unconditional love.
I am a very needy person, so...
He holds me on His lap and in His arms.
He keeps me safe from all harm.
He gives me strength for each test.
He gives me peace so I can rest.
He gives me joy, and the fire of hope.
He mends my heart and helps me to cope.
He gives me sight so I can see
The words of love meant just for me.
He gives me ears so I can hear
How, to Him, I am so dear.
So many blessings I can't even mention,
There's something I don't understand -
How can I waste the blessings flowing from His hand?
How can I not, in the grayness of the dawn,
Honor Him with thanksgiving?
For I am still in the land of the living.
How can I not thank Him for the beauty of a flower
When He keeps me safe in His strong tower?
How can I not thank Him when my life is so full?
How can I not thank Him for saving my soul?
There are so many blessings for me,
But the biggest blessing that sets me free,
The blessing that keeps me thankful every day,
Is that God loves me, no matter what others say.
And for His love that gives life everlasting,
I will enter His presence with thanksgiving,
And let Him know He is my God, my Lord,
The one I will always love and adore.
I pray you have a safe, blessed, and peaceful Thanksgiving. Amen.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Oh What Joy
I was in a valley.
I was tightly bound.
There were dry bones
All around.
I was in a pit,
And sinking fast.
I had nothing to hold on to,
Nothing to grasp.
I wasn't going to last much longer,
I was sinking so fast.
There was death all around me,
In a place where nothing lasts.
I was so scared,
I was terrified.
Trying to break free,
I fought and I cried.
My mom and my dad
Couldn't rescue me.
My sisters and my brothers
Couldn't set me free.
In a valley so deep and forsaken,
I didn't have the skills I needed to cope.
Vultures and sin were eating at my flesh.
My life had no hope.
I fought and tried to get away.
My heart was broken and so sore.
There was no one to help me,
But somehow, I thought there must be more.
Something was tickling my memory.
I thought about stories I'd heard.
Something about a man named Jesus,
And how he taught God's word.
The stories said he was knocking at my heart.
They said he could wash away my sin.
They said he was a gentleman, and kind,
And that he would keep knocking until I let him in.
Those stories said he could unbind me.
They said he could make me clean and whole again.
They said all I had to do was ask.
So I asked, and I prayed.
I knew there was a God; I hoped the stories were true.
"Jesus, would you come into my heart today?
Can you get me out of this mess I've made?
Would you come into my heart to stay?"
Oh what joy, because the stories were true.
Oh what joy, those stories I heard.
Oh what joy, I'm one of those stories today.
Oh what joy, all because of God's precious word.
I was tightly bound.
There were dry bones
All around.
I was in a pit,
And sinking fast.
I had nothing to hold on to,
Nothing to grasp.
I wasn't going to last much longer,
I was sinking so fast.
There was death all around me,
In a place where nothing lasts.
I was so scared,
I was terrified.
Trying to break free,
I fought and I cried.
My mom and my dad
Couldn't rescue me.
My sisters and my brothers
Couldn't set me free.
In a valley so deep and forsaken,
I didn't have the skills I needed to cope.
Vultures and sin were eating at my flesh.
My life had no hope.
I fought and tried to get away.
My heart was broken and so sore.
There was no one to help me,
But somehow, I thought there must be more.
Something was tickling my memory.
I thought about stories I'd heard.
Something about a man named Jesus,
And how he taught God's word.
The stories said he was knocking at my heart.
They said he could wash away my sin.
They said he was a gentleman, and kind,
And that he would keep knocking until I let him in.
Those stories said he could unbind me.
They said he could make me clean and whole again.
They said all I had to do was ask.
So I asked, and I prayed.
I knew there was a God; I hoped the stories were true.
"Jesus, would you come into my heart today?
Can you get me out of this mess I've made?
Would you come into my heart to stay?"
Oh what joy, because the stories were true.
Oh what joy, those stories I heard.
Oh what joy, I'm one of those stories today.
Oh what joy, all because of God's precious word.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Relent
Relent
and repent.
Jesus was sent
for all of us
who went
astray
and so far away
until our circumstance
gave us yet another chance
to pick ourself off the ground
and turn around
to go back home
where we’re not all alone.
So relent
and repent
today.
Learn God’s way
and stay
in the presence
of Jesus.
and repent.
Jesus was sent
for all of us
who went
astray
and so far away
until our circumstance
gave us yet another chance
to pick ourself off the ground
and turn around
to go back home
where we’re not all alone.
So relent
and repent
today.
Learn God’s way
and stay
in the presence
of Jesus.
Average
I joined a writing "class" online, and am doing homework! I've only done one lesson so far, but thought I'd post this one and get some feedback from others too. I just want to see what others think, there aren't any right or wrong answers. Thank you in advance.
It’s an average looking house in a working class neighborhood. The front porch needs paint, white lace curtains hang at the windows, a light glows warmly.
As she approaches the house, she thinks about how average her life is.
She unlocks the door, enters the house, and is blown away by three whirlwind tornadoes.
“Hi mom! What’s for supper? See what I made today?” and her average weariness melts into nothingness as her heart bursts with love.
It’s an average looking house in a working class neighborhood. The front porch needs paint, white lace curtains hang at the windows, a light glows warmly.
As she approaches the house, she thinks about how average her life is.
She unlocks the door, enters the house, and is blown away by three whirlwind tornadoes.
“Hi mom! What’s for supper? See what I made today?” and her average weariness melts into nothingness as her heart bursts with love.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Bible Study
Last night was a good bible study at church. And exciting news for me as well. I get to read some of my poetry at the Veteran's Day celebration on November 6. Yippee!! What an honor to get to recognize all our vets so publicly. Thank you, Lord. Use me as you will.
So last night I did something new...I wrote three liners instead of a long poem. Very interesting. I know they came from God, because I usually don't write like this.
The receipt
Of deceipt
Led to death.
Staying in the light
Gives us life
And takes us to God.
Isn't it odd
We forget that God
Is the final judge?
Why do we rant and rail
When we fail
To follow God's path?
We suffer from rejection
Because of the deception
Of the lies we believe.
Even when life is hard
And we have a broken heart,
God is worthy to be praised.
If our flesh we do satiate,
How can we radiate
With the glory of God.
When we allow the intrusion
Of any delusions,
We will surely die.
When we diverse,
And forget to reverse,
We fall away from God.
Let me know what you think of this style. It's new for me, but I kind of like it. Brief and to the point. Something I can put on a calendar, or my computer, to remind me where to keep my focus. Have a wonderfully blessed day!
So last night I did something new...I wrote three liners instead of a long poem. Very interesting. I know they came from God, because I usually don't write like this.
The receipt
Of deceipt
Led to death.
Staying in the light
Gives us life
And takes us to God.
Isn't it odd
We forget that God
Is the final judge?
Why do we rant and rail
When we fail
To follow God's path?
We suffer from rejection
Because of the deception
Of the lies we believe.
Even when life is hard
And we have a broken heart,
God is worthy to be praised.
If our flesh we do satiate,
How can we radiate
With the glory of God.
When we allow the intrusion
Of any delusions,
We will surely die.
When we diverse,
And forget to reverse,
We fall away from God.
Let me know what you think of this style. It's new for me, but I kind of like it. Brief and to the point. Something I can put on a calendar, or my computer, to remind me where to keep my focus. Have a wonderfully blessed day!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
A New Day
Today was a new day. I went to bed early last night, and woke up early today. I felt good, and got to work right away. Good thing, because between 6 and 9 a.m. is when I accomplished almost all the work I did today. Tonight I made someone's costume for work. It's done except the finishing touches she's planning to put on it. So much work for something she'll wear only once. Oh well.
Robin was ambitious and cooked lunch and dinner today. Ken called yesterday; we're having Thanksgiving on Saturday at Bob's church. Only have to give a donation for using it. It's nice they let us come in. That reminds me, I have to let Cindy know, and I'm going to tell Becky too so they can come if they can make it. I hope I can save enough money for us to go. No money from Robin, she's still working only part time. And I have to get enough money for the holidays to get Stephanie and James home, and back to school. And have enough for me to go for my check up for the heart study when I take them back that first week in January. All I can do is walk in faith that what is needed will be there, and keep on working for it. Because I believe God helps those who do the work and don't sit back and wait for the blessings. Faith is like a muscle, it needs to be exercised to get stronger.
The jeep died again. I got the new battery, it ran for three days, and died again. So I think it really does need an alternator. John said he would rebuild it for me, so I'll have to talk to him. Another month to save up enough for that. Another month of walking home from work. That means my clothes will continue to get too big! I don't mind that at all.
Now I'm tired, so emails to Cindy and Becky, and off to bed I go. Happy dreams tonight, I think. And I'll wake up singing a new song, ready to start another new day. Isn't it wonderful we have new days to write the pages of our life in? I'm glad I get all those new days, with new mercy and new grace. Be blessed.
Robin was ambitious and cooked lunch and dinner today. Ken called yesterday; we're having Thanksgiving on Saturday at Bob's church. Only have to give a donation for using it. It's nice they let us come in. That reminds me, I have to let Cindy know, and I'm going to tell Becky too so they can come if they can make it. I hope I can save enough money for us to go. No money from Robin, she's still working only part time. And I have to get enough money for the holidays to get Stephanie and James home, and back to school. And have enough for me to go for my check up for the heart study when I take them back that first week in January. All I can do is walk in faith that what is needed will be there, and keep on working for it. Because I believe God helps those who do the work and don't sit back and wait for the blessings. Faith is like a muscle, it needs to be exercised to get stronger.
The jeep died again. I got the new battery, it ran for three days, and died again. So I think it really does need an alternator. John said he would rebuild it for me, so I'll have to talk to him. Another month to save up enough for that. Another month of walking home from work. That means my clothes will continue to get too big! I don't mind that at all.
Now I'm tired, so emails to Cindy and Becky, and off to bed I go. Happy dreams tonight, I think. And I'll wake up singing a new song, ready to start another new day. Isn't it wonderful we have new days to write the pages of our life in? I'm glad I get all those new days, with new mercy and new grace. Be blessed.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Nightmares and Never Ending Love
I wrote Never Ending Love today. I had a really bad night, woke up fighting. I felt like I'd been battling all night, and today I am so tired. I thought I was finished with these kind of nightmares, but I guess I was wrong. Problem is, I don't know what triggered it. Oh well, keep God in my sight, and keep moving forward. Remember who really loves me. Remember who protects me, who knows what path I'm on and where I'm going. Because today I have no idea what is in store for me. I know the dreams, but see no way of attaining them. I know the path full of light, which is where I always need to stay because it's where I am safe. I sure don't want to get off now, after all I've gone through and how far I've come. Because I can look at myself now, and see a wonderful person, not the poor thing I used to be. I am so richly blessed, and I know it. I never want to take it for granted.
Here is some of what I remember speaking after church last night:
I was in the valley of death
And I was afraid.
There were dry bones all around me,
And I was afraid.
There were shackles on my ankles and wrists,
And I was afraid.
There were chains on my neck,
And I was terrified.
I was sinking deeper into the muck and mud,
And I was terrified.
"Oh God!" I cried.
"There must be something more!
I cannot do this! If you are there, there must be something more!"
God heard my cry.
He reached down and touched me.
He reached down and breathed life into me.
The shackles and chains broke.
I rose out of the mud.
Now I fly with the eagles in the skies.
I soar over the clouds towards heaven.
I am free, free, FREE!
Rejoice.
The valley of death no longer holds fear.
Fear has fled before God,
And I am free.
I think there's more, but right now I'm too tired to think of it. I feel like I'm a mess, and I really need to hang on as tight as I can, and curl up in the Father's lap and feel His love, and the safety only He can give. Amen
Here is some of what I remember speaking after church last night:
I was in the valley of death
And I was afraid.
There were dry bones all around me,
And I was afraid.
There were shackles on my ankles and wrists,
And I was afraid.
There were chains on my neck,
And I was terrified.
I was sinking deeper into the muck and mud,
And I was terrified.
"Oh God!" I cried.
"There must be something more!
I cannot do this! If you are there, there must be something more!"
God heard my cry.
He reached down and touched me.
He reached down and breathed life into me.
The shackles and chains broke.
I rose out of the mud.
Now I fly with the eagles in the skies.
I soar over the clouds towards heaven.
I am free, free, FREE!
Rejoice.
The valley of death no longer holds fear.
Fear has fled before God,
And I am free.
I think there's more, but right now I'm too tired to think of it. I feel like I'm a mess, and I really need to hang on as tight as I can, and curl up in the Father's lap and feel His love, and the safety only He can give. Amen
Never Ending Love
I was lying in my bed,
Thoughts of sleep going through my head.
I woke suddenly to find
Terrible dreams in my mind.
Dreams of me as a child.
Dreams of those tests and trials.
Dreams of innocence lost.
Dreams of the horrible cost
Of a child who got used
In many forms of abuse.
I dreamed he was next to me
And no one was willing to see
How he threatened her with harm
And destroyed his child’s heart.
I dreamed of how she tried to fight.
How she stayed away from the dark and in the light.
How she tried to never be alone when he was around.
How she would sleep outside on the ground.
How she tried to be hard to find.
I dreamed of how people were not kind
When the truth became known.
Of how her mother groaned
And was torn between belief and disbelief
And could offer no relief
To her child who was all alone
And was removed from her home.
I dreamed he was in the bed
And my whole being filled with dread.
My eyes flew open and I awoke.
I looked and looked, but no one spoke.
I realized this time it was only a dream
And I wonder what it could mean.
I thought I had dealt with this issue.
The wounds had healed, leaving scar tissue.
Once more I must learn to cope.
Once more I must remember where I have hope.
I must remember Jesus really loves me.
I must search for his face until I see
The love God has for me is all-encompassing
And His heart beats with a song I can sing.
The song of never-ending love,
Never-ending love from my Father above.
Thoughts of sleep going through my head.
I woke suddenly to find
Terrible dreams in my mind.
Dreams of me as a child.
Dreams of those tests and trials.
Dreams of innocence lost.
Dreams of the horrible cost
Of a child who got used
In many forms of abuse.
I dreamed he was next to me
And no one was willing to see
How he threatened her with harm
And destroyed his child’s heart.
I dreamed of how she tried to fight.
How she stayed away from the dark and in the light.
How she tried to never be alone when he was around.
How she would sleep outside on the ground.
How she tried to be hard to find.
I dreamed of how people were not kind
When the truth became known.
Of how her mother groaned
And was torn between belief and disbelief
And could offer no relief
To her child who was all alone
And was removed from her home.
I dreamed he was in the bed
And my whole being filled with dread.
My eyes flew open and I awoke.
I looked and looked, but no one spoke.
I realized this time it was only a dream
And I wonder what it could mean.
I thought I had dealt with this issue.
The wounds had healed, leaving scar tissue.
Once more I must learn to cope.
Once more I must remember where I have hope.
I must remember Jesus really loves me.
I must search for his face until I see
The love God has for me is all-encompassing
And His heart beats with a song I can sing.
The song of never-ending love,
Never-ending love from my Father above.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Thoughts
When I'm crocheting or knitting and not having to count, I'm thinking....about what needs to be done, what's for the next meal, where is the money going to come from to visit mom, to bring the kids home for winter break. But I think a whole lot more about God, and how blessed I am. And I pray while I'm working...for specific people, for people in general, for/about lots of things. And I pray that whatever I'm working on will bless the person who receives it. I talk to God a lot. And something changed not long after I moved here. When I'm working on something, and thinking my way through it, instead of "I'll do it this way", it's "we'll do it this way". It isn't just me! It's the holy spirit helping me, guiding me. I am so grateful for this, because I sometimes think that car accident did more damage than everyone thought, and I know if God hadn't had His hand in my healing, I would not be able to function as a "normal" person today. I still have trouble with my balance sometimes, especially when I'm tired. And I know I know something, but the answer will not come, again especially when I'm tired. That isn't just age, or being too busy, or trying to remember too much. Something happened that changed me, even though people don't notice it.
Anyway, yesterday I had some down time at work, and while I was thinking about life in general, and about God specifically, I realized this:
I believe my destiny
Is not to live in misery,
But to spend eternity
Worshipping my Lord and King!
Eternity includes the here and now. It includes this present moment, because I can't have the moment that just flew by back. I have to function in this present moment, I have to worship God in this present moment, I have to live in this present moment. I can remember the past, I can dream about the future, but I live in this present moment. So I want to make the most of this present moment right now. I don't like going back to the past, and I don't know what the future holds for me, but I do know what is going on right now, in this present moment, and I have the burning desire to make the most of it.
So I am living in this present moment, healthy or not, whether I am working or resting, writing, sewing, knitting, reading or whatever I am doing, to the best of my ability.
So these are my thoughts as I start out this morning. I will not be miserable, I will be joyful. I will not be lukewarm, I will be on fire. I will be grateful for what and who I am. I will worship the Lord with all my might, all my heart, all my soul, and all my ability, because God gave me that ability to do so and I do not want to waste it. Thank you, Lord, for blessing me so much. Amen.
Anyway, yesterday I had some down time at work, and while I was thinking about life in general, and about God specifically, I realized this:
I believe my destiny
Is not to live in misery,
But to spend eternity
Worshipping my Lord and King!
Eternity includes the here and now. It includes this present moment, because I can't have the moment that just flew by back. I have to function in this present moment, I have to worship God in this present moment, I have to live in this present moment. I can remember the past, I can dream about the future, but I live in this present moment. So I want to make the most of this present moment right now. I don't like going back to the past, and I don't know what the future holds for me, but I do know what is going on right now, in this present moment, and I have the burning desire to make the most of it.
So I am living in this present moment, healthy or not, whether I am working or resting, writing, sewing, knitting, reading or whatever I am doing, to the best of my ability.
So these are my thoughts as I start out this morning. I will not be miserable, I will be joyful. I will not be lukewarm, I will be on fire. I will be grateful for what and who I am. I will worship the Lord with all my might, all my heart, all my soul, and all my ability, because God gave me that ability to do so and I do not want to waste it. Thank you, Lord, for blessing me so much. Amen.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
All Alone
She sits in her room all alone
And wonders what she should do.
She's afraid to pick up the phone,
Others think what she says isn't true.
She prays for someone to rescue her,
But no one comes to her aid.
Her soul is battered, her body hurts,
And people don't understand why she's afraid.
She tries to never be alone with him,
Not difficult during the day.
But at night, when mom's gone again,
He's free to have his way.
She finds release in her diary,
It doesn't call her a liar.
She records it all, the abuse and the dreams,
And prays the dreams don't expire.
Then mom got sick, wound up in the hospital,
And someone heard and believed.
Made some noise, made some calls,
Convinced them it wasn't a made up story.
He spent only a few days in jail.
She was pressured to drop the charges "to save the family".
She was confused and so scared she would fail,
At what all the different ones wanted her to do.
She was a young girl, not very strong.
She was subjected to scorn and ridicule.
When the rumors started, she was the one in the wrong.
But she was stronger than she knew.
She ignored the gossipmongers.
She did her work and graduated from school,
And searched for the things for which she hungered.
She got married, more than once.
She had children of her own.
She didn't really know how to trust.
She struggled to provide a safe and secure home.
Then one day he was found dead,
And she worried, for her children had not been told.
Telling them had filled her with dread
Because she was afraid their hearts would turn cold,
That they would lose respect for her
When they found out the ugliness of her past.
Would they understand the fear and the hurt?
"Is that why we hardly saw him?" they asked.
She went through lots of therapy
And learned to forgive him.
Then she learned to forgive herself so she could be free.
Now her life is moving forward again.
She searched many places before she found Jesus.
She's learning how to have good relationships.
She found peace, joy, happiness,
And hope so bright that helps her to never quit.
And wonders what she should do.
She's afraid to pick up the phone,
Others think what she says isn't true.
She prays for someone to rescue her,
But no one comes to her aid.
Her soul is battered, her body hurts,
And people don't understand why she's afraid.
She tries to never be alone with him,
Not difficult during the day.
But at night, when mom's gone again,
He's free to have his way.
She finds release in her diary,
It doesn't call her a liar.
She records it all, the abuse and the dreams,
And prays the dreams don't expire.
Then mom got sick, wound up in the hospital,
And someone heard and believed.
Made some noise, made some calls,
Convinced them it wasn't a made up story.
He spent only a few days in jail.
She was pressured to drop the charges "to save the family".
She was confused and so scared she would fail,
At what all the different ones wanted her to do.
She was a young girl, not very strong.
She was subjected to scorn and ridicule.
When the rumors started, she was the one in the wrong.
But she was stronger than she knew.
She ignored the gossipmongers.
She did her work and graduated from school,
And searched for the things for which she hungered.
She got married, more than once.
She had children of her own.
She didn't really know how to trust.
She struggled to provide a safe and secure home.
Then one day he was found dead,
And she worried, for her children had not been told.
Telling them had filled her with dread
Because she was afraid their hearts would turn cold,
That they would lose respect for her
When they found out the ugliness of her past.
Would they understand the fear and the hurt?
"Is that why we hardly saw him?" they asked.
She went through lots of therapy
And learned to forgive him.
Then she learned to forgive herself so she could be free.
Now her life is moving forward again.
She searched many places before she found Jesus.
She's learning how to have good relationships.
She found peace, joy, happiness,
And hope so bright that helps her to never quit.
Friday, October 15, 2010
A Beautiful Day
The sun was shining today, and it's supposed to be nice tomorrow. Then rain next week. I had a wonderful day at work. Between answering the phone and helping the customers who came in, I figured out a crochet pattern, and made a dozen bell ornaments for the upcoming craft show. Until I finish the never-ending quilt, which is almost ready for the binding, and the Halloween afghan, and all the mending I've been doing, I am rarely just sitting.
BUT, I've been thinking about a title for the next book (not the one being edited right now-that's called From Trouble to Joy). Thinking about cups. Maybe I should just write a bunch more about cups. Already have three poems. I think I could come up with enough to fill a chapbook with 31 poems. Might take a little time, though. :)
Is my cup half full or is it half empty?
Are there dregs on the bottom,
Or is it clear as can be?
Good start, I think. Think I'll go write. Good way to unwind.
Got a letter from the MRI people today. Recommends another mammogram in six months to check an area that they believe is probably benign. What do they know? I am healed. I am trusting the Lord in this. I refuse to worry about it, and I will stay healthy. I'm so much better since I moved here. I have less stress, I'm getting rid of weight, I'm eating better, and I'm happy. What more can we ask for? God is taking care of me. I am absolutely fine, and no person is going to tell me otherwise.
Enough for now. Gotta go write about cups being half full. Hallelujah!
BUT, I've been thinking about a title for the next book (not the one being edited right now-that's called From Trouble to Joy). Thinking about cups. Maybe I should just write a bunch more about cups. Already have three poems. I think I could come up with enough to fill a chapbook with 31 poems. Might take a little time, though. :)
Is my cup half full or is it half empty?
Are there dregs on the bottom,
Or is it clear as can be?
Good start, I think. Think I'll go write. Good way to unwind.
Got a letter from the MRI people today. Recommends another mammogram in six months to check an area that they believe is probably benign. What do they know? I am healed. I am trusting the Lord in this. I refuse to worry about it, and I will stay healthy. I'm so much better since I moved here. I have less stress, I'm getting rid of weight, I'm eating better, and I'm happy. What more can we ask for? God is taking care of me. I am absolutely fine, and no person is going to tell me otherwise.
Enough for now. Gotta go write about cups being half full. Hallelujah!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Cancer FREE
Year number three
Out of chemotherapy
And I am still
CANCER FREE!
My three year anniversay was October 10. I almost didn't realize it, I was so worried about that ultrasound. After a LONG 1.5 hours, the test was clean! I can't even begin to explain how relieved I was. And how thankful I am that even when I am scare, even when I have doubts, God is right there in the middle of everything, taking care of all the details. I was angry that it took three tests to figure out what I told them the first time. But I think I was more angry with myself for not fighting the fear harder. I was fighting pretty hard, whether others saw it or not.
In some ways I don't understand why people celebrate having survived cancer, but in some ways I do. It's like a birthday or an anniversary, with one more year of life lived. Maybe I don't celebrate it like some because of all the others things I've gone through that have been life altering/life threatening, and this was one more battle to win. I don't know. I just know I like to celebrate life every day, and I never forget where I've come from. I am so grateful to God for bringing me this far, and I know I have farther to go. Life is an adventure, so live it to the fullest, to the best of your ability.
Sure, I don't have the money to do some of the things I want to do like travel, but my kids still have a mother, I still help others, I am doing things I enjoy even while I'm working, and God is just SO GOOD that I have to love Him with all I am. And I do. So whoever reads this, God is good. God is faithful. God is jealous over me and you, and even when you don't see Him, or feel Him, He is HERE! I think of all the times He's had to carry me because I was too weak to even walk or crawl, and I KNOW how blessed I am. So for me, all the glory goes to God because I sure couldn't have done it myself. I would have been dead years ago. Sean and Brian would have been mourning the loss of a mother, and Robin, Stephanie and James wouldn't even be here. All those years of depression, of thoughts of suicide when I thought I couldn't handle it anymore, are memories of the person I was. But that's the best part, they are just memories. I am alive, and I have God to thank for that because He reached out and picked me up and brought me out of a prison so deep and dark no one could have gotten out. Thank you, Lord, for thinking I was worth saving. I love you, Lord, with all I am, and all I have. All the praise and glory go to you, and I am not afraid to tell about it either. Amen.
Out of chemotherapy
And I am still
CANCER FREE!
My three year anniversay was October 10. I almost didn't realize it, I was so worried about that ultrasound. After a LONG 1.5 hours, the test was clean! I can't even begin to explain how relieved I was. And how thankful I am that even when I am scare, even when I have doubts, God is right there in the middle of everything, taking care of all the details. I was angry that it took three tests to figure out what I told them the first time. But I think I was more angry with myself for not fighting the fear harder. I was fighting pretty hard, whether others saw it or not.
In some ways I don't understand why people celebrate having survived cancer, but in some ways I do. It's like a birthday or an anniversary, with one more year of life lived. Maybe I don't celebrate it like some because of all the others things I've gone through that have been life altering/life threatening, and this was one more battle to win. I don't know. I just know I like to celebrate life every day, and I never forget where I've come from. I am so grateful to God for bringing me this far, and I know I have farther to go. Life is an adventure, so live it to the fullest, to the best of your ability.
Sure, I don't have the money to do some of the things I want to do like travel, but my kids still have a mother, I still help others, I am doing things I enjoy even while I'm working, and God is just SO GOOD that I have to love Him with all I am. And I do. So whoever reads this, God is good. God is faithful. God is jealous over me and you, and even when you don't see Him, or feel Him, He is HERE! I think of all the times He's had to carry me because I was too weak to even walk or crawl, and I KNOW how blessed I am. So for me, all the glory goes to God because I sure couldn't have done it myself. I would have been dead years ago. Sean and Brian would have been mourning the loss of a mother, and Robin, Stephanie and James wouldn't even be here. All those years of depression, of thoughts of suicide when I thought I couldn't handle it anymore, are memories of the person I was. But that's the best part, they are just memories. I am alive, and I have God to thank for that because He reached out and picked me up and brought me out of a prison so deep and dark no one could have gotten out. Thank you, Lord, for thinking I was worth saving. I love you, Lord, with all I am, and all I have. All the praise and glory go to you, and I am not afraid to tell about it either. Amen.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Worried and Scared
I'm worried and I'm sad.
I'm scared and I'm mad.
Do this again?
I don't think I can.
I don't want this affliction.
I don't want this abomination.
Lord, I want to be used by you.
I know your laborers are few.
But does it have to be so hard?
Do I have to have a broken heart?
I don't want to be complacent.
When you said go, I went.
I don't expect life to be easy.
But this makes me wish to be done with this journey.
I love you too much to say no,
And I know through this I will grow.
So Lord, even though I don't like this test,
It's in your arms I will rest.
And for those times I am too weak,
I know you will carry me.
I'll be safe from all harm
As I rest in the shelter of your arms.
I'm scared and I'm mad.
Do this again?
I don't think I can.
I don't want this affliction.
I don't want this abomination.
Lord, I want to be used by you.
I know your laborers are few.
But does it have to be so hard?
Do I have to have a broken heart?
I don't want to be complacent.
When you said go, I went.
I don't expect life to be easy.
But this makes me wish to be done with this journey.
I love you too much to say no,
And I know through this I will grow.
So Lord, even though I don't like this test,
It's in your arms I will rest.
And for those times I am too weak,
I know you will carry me.
I'll be safe from all harm
As I rest in the shelter of your arms.
Scared and Worried
I admit, I'm scared and a little worried. Tomorrow I go for the ultrasound. I wasn't going to, but I got another letter after the second mammogram, saying they need to look into whatever it is they're seeing. I'm angry, I'm scared, I'm worried. Angry because I have to go for another test instead of being told everything looks find. Scared because if the cancer is back, how am I going to pay for everything? I have no insurance even though I want it. I can't afford it. Worried because I don't know if I can go through this again. The only person here is Robin. She's very responsible, and has lots of common sense, and I trust her, but why should she be the only one here to help me? Then again, in Minnesota, the kids were my help - and my brother-in-law. A few others helped by cooking and giving us gift cards for groceries, but it was me and the kids. James was in 10th grade, Stephanie a senior and Robin in college. Brian was in the Marines, and Sean was busy with his family. He spent a lot of time at the hospital with Audrey those days. It seemed every time Robin came home she was taking me to the emergency room. That's why I depended on God so much to get me through that. When it comes down to it, we always go through stuff alone, don't we?
So tonight I'm writing to encourage myself. To tell those fears to get out, they don't belong here. To remind myself I am a child of God, and that He knows what His plan is even if I don't. To remind myself He has his hand prints all over me, and will use everything I go through for His glory. Even when I don't see any glory in suffering, and pain, and grief.
The name of the Lord is a strong tower. The righteous run into it and they are saved.
The Lord is MY strong tower.
The Lord is my refuge, and my strength.
The Lord is my peace and my joy.
He loves me in spite of what I am,
And I will bless Him forever.
I will enter His courts with thanksgiving.
I will praise Him in my sorrow.
I will praise Him in my sickness.
I will praise Him in my gladness.
I will praise Him in my health.
I will praise the Lord for all He has done for me.
Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and ALL that is within me. Bless His holy name.
Everything within me must bless the Lord.
Everything within me must bow down before Him.
Everything within me must worship the Lord, no matter what it is.
Everything within me must bow down before the Lord or it must leave.
I shall keep singing and dancing. I shall keep praising His name. For even though I don't want to go through another test, I will not say no to the Lord because I love Him so much. And I will praise Him the entire time, in my tears, in my fears, for He shall put me into His arms and give me peace and joy, hope and love. I will praise the Lord forever. Amen.
So tonight I'm writing to encourage myself. To tell those fears to get out, they don't belong here. To remind myself I am a child of God, and that He knows what His plan is even if I don't. To remind myself He has his hand prints all over me, and will use everything I go through for His glory. Even when I don't see any glory in suffering, and pain, and grief.
The name of the Lord is a strong tower. The righteous run into it and they are saved.
The Lord is MY strong tower.
The Lord is my refuge, and my strength.
The Lord is my peace and my joy.
He loves me in spite of what I am,
And I will bless Him forever.
I will enter His courts with thanksgiving.
I will praise Him in my sorrow.
I will praise Him in my sickness.
I will praise Him in my gladness.
I will praise Him in my health.
I will praise the Lord for all He has done for me.
Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and ALL that is within me. Bless His holy name.
Everything within me must bless the Lord.
Everything within me must bow down before Him.
Everything within me must worship the Lord, no matter what it is.
Everything within me must bow down before the Lord or it must leave.
I shall keep singing and dancing. I shall keep praising His name. For even though I don't want to go through another test, I will not say no to the Lord because I love Him so much. And I will praise Him the entire time, in my tears, in my fears, for He shall put me into His arms and give me peace and joy, hope and love. I will praise the Lord forever. Amen.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Good Tired
There's bad tired and good tired, and tonight I am the good tired. I made it to knit and crochet club this morning, someone looked at the jeep and we got it to run and he's going to rebuild the alternator for me, and I did a lot of mending AND got some new customers this week. I have become very busy, and that is an answer to prayer. Getting the jeep going again is another answer, and it came from a very unexpected source.
The mammogram looked good, but the doctor wants me to have an ultrasound as well. I am not sure I'll do it. I am cancer free and really don't want to make a third trip for another test. But some fund is picking up the tab, so it seems a bit silly not to go. On the other hand, I am trusting God, and if the mammo is clear, why bother? Maybe after I have the jeep and won't have to walk quite so far, I'll go get it. I don't know. I don't want to be bothered with it.
James is doing well. Bored on the weekends because apparently most of the students leave campus and he can't. He will learn how to entertain himself now, that's for sure. But he's spending weekends getting homework done, a very good thing.
I am having Robin and Sister McGarvey edit the next poetry book. It's ready to go except for the editing. I know there are mistakes in it because I found a couple myself, but I am too close to it and don't see them very well. This is going to be a chapbook for now. I'll have a local printer put it together for me, I think, even though it might be a bit costly. I have a following here in Moberly, and I know they'll buy them. That will give me incentive to get the next ones together and out there too.
Now it's time for me to get some sleep because I truly am tired. It's been a productive day, and tomorrow I work at Parks and Rec. I've been getting some crocheting finished there, too, because it's the slow season. A good job for me.
Be blessed, everyone.
The mammogram looked good, but the doctor wants me to have an ultrasound as well. I am not sure I'll do it. I am cancer free and really don't want to make a third trip for another test. But some fund is picking up the tab, so it seems a bit silly not to go. On the other hand, I am trusting God, and if the mammo is clear, why bother? Maybe after I have the jeep and won't have to walk quite so far, I'll go get it. I don't know. I don't want to be bothered with it.
James is doing well. Bored on the weekends because apparently most of the students leave campus and he can't. He will learn how to entertain himself now, that's for sure. But he's spending weekends getting homework done, a very good thing.
I am having Robin and Sister McGarvey edit the next poetry book. It's ready to go except for the editing. I know there are mistakes in it because I found a couple myself, but I am too close to it and don't see them very well. This is going to be a chapbook for now. I'll have a local printer put it together for me, I think, even though it might be a bit costly. I have a following here in Moberly, and I know they'll buy them. That will give me incentive to get the next ones together and out there too.
Now it's time for me to get some sleep because I truly am tired. It's been a productive day, and tomorrow I work at Parks and Rec. I've been getting some crocheting finished there, too, because it's the slow season. A good job for me.
Be blessed, everyone.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Mammograms
I really dislike mammograms. They hurt, for one thing. Research is now saying that they aren't the best for catching cancer. And I ALWAYS have to go back for a second one, although this time I might have to have an ultrsound as well. All this after I told the tech who was doing the test that I didn't want to go back there again. Oh well.
When I got the call saying I need to go back, I just about freaked out. I cannot go through cancer treatment again. I don't want my kids being scared about me again. It was so difficult to maintain a positive attitude last time, how could I do it again? Soooo....
I am claiming good health. I do not have anything to worry about. The words I tell my kids, that I will live to be well over 100, and healthy, will not come back void. I have the divine health of the Lord because I am His kid. I am the daughter of the King, and I am kept in His hands, under His protection, at all times. I have nothing to worry about. And I will keep on singing this song:
You are the Lord that healeth me. You are the Lord my healer. You sent your Word and healed my disease, You are the Lord, my healer.
Anyway, these are my thoughts on mammograms. Horrible things, in my opinion, and I don't like horrible things. Thank you, Jesus, for my divine health. Amen.
When I got the call saying I need to go back, I just about freaked out. I cannot go through cancer treatment again. I don't want my kids being scared about me again. It was so difficult to maintain a positive attitude last time, how could I do it again? Soooo....
I am claiming good health. I do not have anything to worry about. The words I tell my kids, that I will live to be well over 100, and healthy, will not come back void. I have the divine health of the Lord because I am His kid. I am the daughter of the King, and I am kept in His hands, under His protection, at all times. I have nothing to worry about. And I will keep on singing this song:
You are the Lord that healeth me. You are the Lord my healer. You sent your Word and healed my disease, You are the Lord, my healer.
Anyway, these are my thoughts on mammograms. Horrible things, in my opinion, and I don't like horrible things. Thank you, Jesus, for my divine health. Amen.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
The Ember
I finished that poem I started the other night. Here it is:
The Ember
A tiny ember glowed in the dark.
It was hardly bright enough to notice,
But it made a tiny warm space in my heart.
Covered in ashes, slowly burning out,
There was no fuel to feed it.
I was slowly dying within and without.
There was a persistent knocking at my door.
Knock...knock...knock.
I couldn’t ignore it any more.
When I answered, I had an attitude.
“What do you want?” and slammed the door.
I really was quite rude.
He was a gentleman, and quietly replied
That He could help me if I would listen.
He was quite willing to be my guide.
I wasn’t about to toe His line.
I was supposed to be in charge!
Who could know better than me about my life?
Then, when my ember was almost dead,
When things that were bad went to worse,
I remembered what the gentleman had said.
I opened the door and asked Him in.
I asked what He could really do to help me.
He touched that ember, brought it to life again.
That ember began to glow,
The ashes began to fall,
And I began to hope.
He touched my heart.
He stopped the raw, bleeding wounds.
He gave me a fresh start.
What had been numb, I began to feel.
I couldn’t believe how many places I hurt
As I slowly began to heal.
Sometimes it’s hard to tell apart
Whether the problem is my body or my soul
As I deal with each issue of my heart.
As I am healed and becoming whole,
I’ll always have scars from the wounds
Because this is a lifelong process, you know.
Who was it? Who didn’t give up on me?
His name is Jesus, whom I love and trust.
He lit the fire that set me free.
The Ember
A tiny ember glowed in the dark.
It was hardly bright enough to notice,
But it made a tiny warm space in my heart.
Covered in ashes, slowly burning out,
There was no fuel to feed it.
I was slowly dying within and without.
There was a persistent knocking at my door.
Knock...knock...knock.
I couldn’t ignore it any more.
When I answered, I had an attitude.
“What do you want?” and slammed the door.
I really was quite rude.
He was a gentleman, and quietly replied
That He could help me if I would listen.
He was quite willing to be my guide.
I wasn’t about to toe His line.
I was supposed to be in charge!
Who could know better than me about my life?
Then, when my ember was almost dead,
When things that were bad went to worse,
I remembered what the gentleman had said.
I opened the door and asked Him in.
I asked what He could really do to help me.
He touched that ember, brought it to life again.
That ember began to glow,
The ashes began to fall,
And I began to hope.
He touched my heart.
He stopped the raw, bleeding wounds.
He gave me a fresh start.
What had been numb, I began to feel.
I couldn’t believe how many places I hurt
As I slowly began to heal.
Sometimes it’s hard to tell apart
Whether the problem is my body or my soul
As I deal with each issue of my heart.
As I am healed and becoming whole,
I’ll always have scars from the wounds
Because this is a lifelong process, you know.
Who was it? Who didn’t give up on me?
His name is Jesus, whom I love and trust.
He lit the fire that set me free.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Embers and Fire
I'm thinking about fire tonight. I read a couple of poems I wrote called Butterfly Wings and one called Billy and started thinking about fire for some reason. And now there's a poem in the works. So far it looks like this:
A tiny ember glowed in the dark.
It was hardly bright enough to notice,
But it made a tiny warm space in my heart.
Covered in ashes, slowly burning out,
There was no fuel to feed it,
I was slowly dying within and without.
And then I started thinking about the color of embers, and how they're red, and that's the same color of blood, and that led me to thinking about how Jesus died for us and covers us with His blood. I am so grateful that He was willing to do this for us. I know that I would not be where I am today without Jesus. I was a mess, trying to control the chaos around me and not succeeding, trying to keep the space around me calm and peaceful and getting nowhere close.
But that tiny ember got fed a little fuel called love, and turned into a flame. The flame kept getting fed love, and some hope got thrown in, and it turned into a campfire. Then the campfire turned into a bonfire because a lot more fuel got put into it -- hope, love, peace, joy, mercy, grace, righteousness, holiness, compassion, jealousy, and so much more than I can even think of right now. And that bonfire has been keeping me clean because it burns off the things that aren't from God, and makes me a better person. It makes me want to sing "Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and all that is within me. Bless His holy name." I think it's cool that everything in me, both the good and the bad, has to bow down and bless the Lord. And then I want to dance. Then I want to sing some more. And here I am, writing encouragement into me so I can have more hope and faith that I am doing what God wants me to do, and instead of going to bed I want to dance and shout for joy! God is so good!
Anyway, those were my thoughts for tonight. Embers are red. Blood is red. And red is my favorite color. Always has been. For me, red is not for anger, red is for love. Even when I was a kid and didn't know anything about God, because I was not brought up in the church. When I stop to think about it, I'm surprised I am who I am today because I sure enough shouldn't be here if all the things that have gone on in my life had come to fruition. God has had His hand on me my entire life, I just didn't know it back then. Thank you, Lord, for your mercy and grace, for your love, your peace, your joy. Time for bed now or I won't want to get up in the morning.
A tiny ember glowed in the dark.
It was hardly bright enough to notice,
But it made a tiny warm space in my heart.
Covered in ashes, slowly burning out,
There was no fuel to feed it,
I was slowly dying within and without.
And then I started thinking about the color of embers, and how they're red, and that's the same color of blood, and that led me to thinking about how Jesus died for us and covers us with His blood. I am so grateful that He was willing to do this for us. I know that I would not be where I am today without Jesus. I was a mess, trying to control the chaos around me and not succeeding, trying to keep the space around me calm and peaceful and getting nowhere close.
But that tiny ember got fed a little fuel called love, and turned into a flame. The flame kept getting fed love, and some hope got thrown in, and it turned into a campfire. Then the campfire turned into a bonfire because a lot more fuel got put into it -- hope, love, peace, joy, mercy, grace, righteousness, holiness, compassion, jealousy, and so much more than I can even think of right now. And that bonfire has been keeping me clean because it burns off the things that aren't from God, and makes me a better person. It makes me want to sing "Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and all that is within me. Bless His holy name." I think it's cool that everything in me, both the good and the bad, has to bow down and bless the Lord. And then I want to dance. Then I want to sing some more. And here I am, writing encouragement into me so I can have more hope and faith that I am doing what God wants me to do, and instead of going to bed I want to dance and shout for joy! God is so good!
Anyway, those were my thoughts for tonight. Embers are red. Blood is red. And red is my favorite color. Always has been. For me, red is not for anger, red is for love. Even when I was a kid and didn't know anything about God, because I was not brought up in the church. When I stop to think about it, I'm surprised I am who I am today because I sure enough shouldn't be here if all the things that have gone on in my life had come to fruition. God has had His hand on me my entire life, I just didn't know it back then. Thank you, Lord, for your mercy and grace, for your love, your peace, your joy. Time for bed now or I won't want to get up in the morning.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Walking With God
Driving down a country road on a dark, dark night reminds me of my walk with God.
When there is no light except the moon and stars, you have to be very careful of where you're going. You have trouble seeing, and you can't go faster than the headlights shining in front of you. If you go too fast, you could take a wrong turn and wind up in the ditch or field. When I'm in that stage, I'm all tense and anxious and trying to be in control of something I really have no control over.
When I don't slow down and listen to God, I get sidetracked into something that probably isn't good for me. Getting back on track is a lot easier than getting out of the ditch. Getting back on track requires work as well. I still need to read my Bible; I still need to pray; I still need to worship God.
God is waiting for me to turn around and come back to Him whenever I get sidetracked (and that happens often, though less now than it used to). He loves me whatever condition I'm in. And when I stay focused on Him, He lights my path and the darkness around me dissipates so I can see, especially with my spiritual eyes. When I stay focused on Him, grace and mercy cover my back, arm in arm, and I am safe. As long as I stay focused on Him, grace and mercy help to get me through whatever I'm going through. Faith helps a lot too, and gets stronger every time I have to go through a test of some kind.
I can tell the differences in my walk with God. Sometimes I see only a candle flame, beckoning me to go forward and not look back. Looking back is okay for learning the lessons, but looking back takes my focus off God and I just fall farther and farther away. The candle flame keeps me focused because I can see it even though the darkness is dissipated only a little.
As I move closer to God, the light becomes more like a campfire, warm and welcoming, keeping the darkness at bay. There is comfort in a campfire, and I like watching the embers as the fire dies down.
And the closer I get to God, the bigger and hotter the fire gets, until it's like a bonfire. That bonfire burns away the debris of sin and anything else that doesn't make me pure and holy. It's a cleansing fire, and I become refined in the fire. It doesn't hurt me, although the sound and heat make me think it would. But I come out of that bonfire a better person, stronger, more hopeful, more faithful, more enthusiastic and eager to do what God wants me to do. That fire helps me to become holy, because my God is holy.
God is great. God is good. God loves us so much, and blesses us so much, it's surprising we keep turning away from Him. I'm glad He keeps His arms open wide until I go into them so He can hold me closer than any person on this earth can.
My prayer is that I stay on the path with the light, with Jesus to lean on or carry me when I need it. I pray that for you as well.
When there is no light except the moon and stars, you have to be very careful of where you're going. You have trouble seeing, and you can't go faster than the headlights shining in front of you. If you go too fast, you could take a wrong turn and wind up in the ditch or field. When I'm in that stage, I'm all tense and anxious and trying to be in control of something I really have no control over.
When I don't slow down and listen to God, I get sidetracked into something that probably isn't good for me. Getting back on track is a lot easier than getting out of the ditch. Getting back on track requires work as well. I still need to read my Bible; I still need to pray; I still need to worship God.
God is waiting for me to turn around and come back to Him whenever I get sidetracked (and that happens often, though less now than it used to). He loves me whatever condition I'm in. And when I stay focused on Him, He lights my path and the darkness around me dissipates so I can see, especially with my spiritual eyes. When I stay focused on Him, grace and mercy cover my back, arm in arm, and I am safe. As long as I stay focused on Him, grace and mercy help to get me through whatever I'm going through. Faith helps a lot too, and gets stronger every time I have to go through a test of some kind.
I can tell the differences in my walk with God. Sometimes I see only a candle flame, beckoning me to go forward and not look back. Looking back is okay for learning the lessons, but looking back takes my focus off God and I just fall farther and farther away. The candle flame keeps me focused because I can see it even though the darkness is dissipated only a little.
As I move closer to God, the light becomes more like a campfire, warm and welcoming, keeping the darkness at bay. There is comfort in a campfire, and I like watching the embers as the fire dies down.
And the closer I get to God, the bigger and hotter the fire gets, until it's like a bonfire. That bonfire burns away the debris of sin and anything else that doesn't make me pure and holy. It's a cleansing fire, and I become refined in the fire. It doesn't hurt me, although the sound and heat make me think it would. But I come out of that bonfire a better person, stronger, more hopeful, more faithful, more enthusiastic and eager to do what God wants me to do. That fire helps me to become holy, because my God is holy.
God is great. God is good. God loves us so much, and blesses us so much, it's surprising we keep turning away from Him. I'm glad He keeps His arms open wide until I go into them so He can hold me closer than any person on this earth can.
My prayer is that I stay on the path with the light, with Jesus to lean on or carry me when I need it. I pray that for you as well.
Monday, September 13, 2010
The Sound of Grace
I was inspired by Joe Cross when he sang Amazing Grace at church Sunday, and added to something I had written some time ago. It fit so well, and I'm sure more will come.
The Sound of Grace
Titus 2:11
For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men.
John 1:17
For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now I see
The song says, "Amazing grace, how sweet the sound." The sound of "I love you" and "I forgive you" is sweet music to our ears. The sound of "I love you" brings comfort, security, and safety to our mind, our soul. The sound of "I forgive you" brings relief and release from our bondage and burdens. These sounds are so powerful they bring relief and peace to the hearer.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.
I was a mess, in a deep well of depression and oppression. I was sunk so low I never saw the light and I though I would never get out.
I once was lost, but now am found. Was blind, but now I see.
I was lost in the darkness. I could not see where to go, what to do or what to seek. I was so lost, and I thought there was no way out.
But a voice called to me, softly, gently, insistently, "Come to me, I will set you free. Come to the light and you will see the path to your freedom, and if you choose it, you never be in the darkness again. Come to me and I will set you free."
I went to the light, and what I saw inspired me, so I chose the light. Now I see the Blood of Jesus and how He set me free. Free from shame, free from guilt, free from darkness and the chains that bound me.
I chose the light. Now I fly with the eagles in the sky.
I chose the light and now I see the blessings that God rains on me: life, hope, peace, joy, faithfulness, mercy, grace, and so much, much more.
I chose the light and now I know God loves me and He sets me free. He sets me free because He loves me.
But there's more to grace than sound. What about the other actions of grace? What about the no condemnation? We no longer have to feel guilty about our past. It has been wiped clean. We can feel remorse, even grief, but it should not consume us. Because of God's grace, we can hold up our head and look another person in the eye. We don't have to hide with God inside us.
Because of grace, we can show compassion, mercy and love. We can give it to others because we have received so much ourselves. Because of grace, we are supposed to BE compassion, mercy and love. Grace and mercy are linked arm in arm and are watching our backs. We are safe in our walk with God because of grace and mercy.
We have received hope, joy, peace, love. Because of grace, we are able to receive these and so much more from God. And we don't have to worry about what is expected in return because it is freely given. The price has been paid.
The death of one for the salvation of millions...
What a price!
Because we fall under grace, mercy is granted to us. We must pay a price for our actions and words, but we aren't under God's wrath, and we won't be destroyed when we fall if we turn back to God. He promised this to Noah, and proves it with a rainbow after every rain...
in the rainbow - which is part of a circle, part of the ark of God.
God isn't carried around in a special wooden box called the ark any more. He's carried around in everything around us, but WE are His living temple. We are the temples not built with hands. And God uses us to show others who He is -
The Living God. The Just God. The Mighty God. The Jealous God. God, who is Love. The God who hands out Grace and Mercy to all of us who accept Him as our God, our Lord, our Saviour.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound. I agree.
But also, amazing grace, how sweet the actions and results that took a wretch like me and changed me into God's image...
Loving, compassionate, just, righteous, jealous, mighty, alive and full of light...
As long as we let Him rule.
Grace - amazing, isn't it, at what it can do.
We fall under grace. Because of our shortcomings, we fall down. We leave the favor of God. When we leave God's favor, we usually go to our knees (fall to our knees) or lay face down (fall on our faces) because of all the weight from the darkness, the burdens darkness puts upon us. When we repent, we fall down because we are seeking grace and mercy, and we are showing awe (fearful respect) at the power of God.
Ephesians 2:8, 9
8. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the give of God:
9. Not of works, lest any man should boast.
Grace raises us out of the ashes of death like a rising Phoenix, and leads us to life - everlasting life. Grace lifts us up. And then mercy follows and we are forgiven for turning away because we have returned. We have turned around to face God again. Isn't it funny how darkness weighs us down but grace lifts us up? Grace gives us the opportunity to accept the light, to be filled with God's light, to become lighter than air so we can soar with the Holy Spirit in the heavens.
Grace is an action word. Grace is movement. Grace is sound. Grace is sweeter than honey. Grace is beautiful. Grace is from God.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound.
Sin and death make us darker, make us move slower and slower, becoming more bent over, more stooped, closer to the grave. Sin and death make us darker and darker, move us farther and farther from the light. They weigh us down with burdens too heavy for us to carry and we fall down. We fail.
Grace takes us towards heaven, makes us victorious, makes us free to fly, to soar.
If it wasn't for grace (and mercy, because mercy is grace's constant companion), we would never have the opportunity to live in eternal light. We would not have the opportunity to be loved and to love as God loves us. In my opinion, grace is one of the best blessings God has given us because it is among the first given to us and it lasts the longest.
The sound of grace: I love you. I forgive you.
The inner ear, where we hear the sound of grace, is made up of the hammer, anvil, stirrup, and the eardrum.
The hammer and anvil of grace: tap, tap, tap. They break the hardness of our hearts. They enable us to become more flexible, less set in our ways. The anvil helps us to become the pliable clay God can mold into His image.
Becoming pliable isn't easy. That's why there's mercy along with grace. It's hard for us to let God have His way. We want our feet in the stirrups, not His. We want to have our own way, not God's. We don't want to be led. But when we step aside and let God do His thing, even whenwe don't understand the wherefores or the whys, we become as God because we are God who lives in us. We are part of the I AM, the living God. We are cells and members of one family, one body.
Grace and mercy follow us, are a part of us, and if we are part of God, we are showing that same grace and mercy to everyone else, Christian and non-Christian alike, for we are all sinners and have fallen short in our efforts to reach holiness, to reach God.
The sound of grace:
I love you, so I forgive you. I forgive you because I love you.
God's grace. Amazing grace, how sweet the sound. Amazing, isn't it, at what grace can do.
For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men.
John 1:17
For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now I see
The song says, "Amazing grace, how sweet the sound." The sound of "I love you" and "I forgive you" is sweet music to our ears. The sound of "I love you" brings comfort, security, and safety to our mind, our soul. The sound of "I forgive you" brings relief and release from our bondage and burdens. These sounds are so powerful they bring relief and peace to the hearer.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.
I was a mess, in a deep well of depression and oppression. I was sunk so low I never saw the light and I though I would never get out.
I once was lost, but now am found. Was blind, but now I see.
I was lost in the darkness. I could not see where to go, what to do or what to seek. I was so lost, and I thought there was no way out.
But a voice called to me, softly, gently, insistently, "Come to me, I will set you free. Come to the light and you will see the path to your freedom, and if you choose it, you never be in the darkness again. Come to me and I will set you free."
I went to the light, and what I saw inspired me, so I chose the light. Now I see the Blood of Jesus and how He set me free. Free from shame, free from guilt, free from darkness and the chains that bound me.
I chose the light. Now I fly with the eagles in the sky.
I chose the light and now I see the blessings that God rains on me: life, hope, peace, joy, faithfulness, mercy, grace, and so much, much more.
I chose the light and now I know God loves me and He sets me free. He sets me free because He loves me.
But there's more to grace than sound. What about the other actions of grace? What about the no condemnation? We no longer have to feel guilty about our past. It has been wiped clean. We can feel remorse, even grief, but it should not consume us. Because of God's grace, we can hold up our head and look another person in the eye. We don't have to hide with God inside us.
Because of grace, we can show compassion, mercy and love. We can give it to others because we have received so much ourselves. Because of grace, we are supposed to BE compassion, mercy and love. Grace and mercy are linked arm in arm and are watching our backs. We are safe in our walk with God because of grace and mercy.
We have received hope, joy, peace, love. Because of grace, we are able to receive these and so much more from God. And we don't have to worry about what is expected in return because it is freely given. The price has been paid.
The death of one for the salvation of millions...
What a price!
Because we fall under grace, mercy is granted to us. We must pay a price for our actions and words, but we aren't under God's wrath, and we won't be destroyed when we fall if we turn back to God. He promised this to Noah, and proves it with a rainbow after every rain...
in the rainbow - which is part of a circle, part of the ark of God.
God isn't carried around in a special wooden box called the ark any more. He's carried around in everything around us, but WE are His living temple. We are the temples not built with hands. And God uses us to show others who He is -
The Living God. The Just God. The Mighty God. The Jealous God. God, who is Love. The God who hands out Grace and Mercy to all of us who accept Him as our God, our Lord, our Saviour.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound. I agree.
But also, amazing grace, how sweet the actions and results that took a wretch like me and changed me into God's image...
Loving, compassionate, just, righteous, jealous, mighty, alive and full of light...
As long as we let Him rule.
Grace - amazing, isn't it, at what it can do.
We fall under grace. Because of our shortcomings, we fall down. We leave the favor of God. When we leave God's favor, we usually go to our knees (fall to our knees) or lay face down (fall on our faces) because of all the weight from the darkness, the burdens darkness puts upon us. When we repent, we fall down because we are seeking grace and mercy, and we are showing awe (fearful respect) at the power of God.
Ephesians 2:8, 9
8. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the give of God:
9. Not of works, lest any man should boast.
Grace raises us out of the ashes of death like a rising Phoenix, and leads us to life - everlasting life. Grace lifts us up. And then mercy follows and we are forgiven for turning away because we have returned. We have turned around to face God again. Isn't it funny how darkness weighs us down but grace lifts us up? Grace gives us the opportunity to accept the light, to be filled with God's light, to become lighter than air so we can soar with the Holy Spirit in the heavens.
Grace is an action word. Grace is movement. Grace is sound. Grace is sweeter than honey. Grace is beautiful. Grace is from God.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound.
Sin and death make us darker, make us move slower and slower, becoming more bent over, more stooped, closer to the grave. Sin and death make us darker and darker, move us farther and farther from the light. They weigh us down with burdens too heavy for us to carry and we fall down. We fail.
Grace takes us towards heaven, makes us victorious, makes us free to fly, to soar.
If it wasn't for grace (and mercy, because mercy is grace's constant companion), we would never have the opportunity to live in eternal light. We would not have the opportunity to be loved and to love as God loves us. In my opinion, grace is one of the best blessings God has given us because it is among the first given to us and it lasts the longest.
The sound of grace: I love you. I forgive you.
The inner ear, where we hear the sound of grace, is made up of the hammer, anvil, stirrup, and the eardrum.
The hammer and anvil of grace: tap, tap, tap. They break the hardness of our hearts. They enable us to become more flexible, less set in our ways. The anvil helps us to become the pliable clay God can mold into His image.
Becoming pliable isn't easy. That's why there's mercy along with grace. It's hard for us to let God have His way. We want our feet in the stirrups, not His. We want to have our own way, not God's. We don't want to be led. But when we step aside and let God do His thing, even whenwe don't understand the wherefores or the whys, we become as God because we are God who lives in us. We are part of the I AM, the living God. We are cells and members of one family, one body.
Grace and mercy follow us, are a part of us, and if we are part of God, we are showing that same grace and mercy to everyone else, Christian and non-Christian alike, for we are all sinners and have fallen short in our efforts to reach holiness, to reach God.
The sound of grace:
I love you, so I forgive you. I forgive you because I love you.
God's grace. Amazing grace, how sweet the sound. Amazing, isn't it, at what grace can do.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Time to Move
Look ahead, not behind.
Move forward, not back.
It's time to move,
So pick up your feet and go.
The Lord is ahead of us,
Not behind,
So don't look back.
Move! Don't stand still.
It's time to go forth -
To use the gifts I gave you.
It's time to make your choice.
It's time to move.
Don't look back.
Go forth into the new --
New life, new power,
New sight, new love.
Don't go back, don't stand still.
It's time to move,
So let's go!
Move forward, not back.
It's time to move,
So pick up your feet and go.
The Lord is ahead of us,
Not behind,
So don't look back.
Move! Don't stand still.
It's time to go forth -
To use the gifts I gave you.
It's time to make your choice.
It's time to move.
Don't look back.
Go forth into the new --
New life, new power,
New sight, new love.
Don't go back, don't stand still.
It's time to move,
So let's go!
More Musings
A long time in the car over the past few days. Ten hours from Moberly, MO, to Rice Lake, WI. We started at mom's. She was so happy to see us. I find it funny the girls can't get in her house or leave it without getting a hug. They so don't like to be touched. I understand why, but can't do anything about it. It will change when they get older, I'm sure.
It's funny how things get mixed up. Mom asked me if I'd heard from Jerry recently, and then informed me he'd been in the hospital with an infection in his heart. She was frantic, and putting herself into a tither worrying about him being alone, and dying alone, and all kinds of stuff. I finally scolded her for all the bad thoughts, and reminded her how I wasn't going to talk to her any more when I told her about my cancer because she had me dead and dying and I was trying to live. She says she can't help it. I think we'll have to start limiting the information we give her when something unpleasant happens. I reminded her that Jerry isn't dad; Jerry has and will have friends. If anything happens to him, someone will notify us. I hope the message got across.
It was nice to visit my home church in Newport, MN. I've missed them a lot. Sunday's teaching by Pastor Tom Marxen boilded down to forgiveness; and how we must forgive if we're going to live in the ocean with Jesus instead of in our little boat with a limited view of everything.
And the DNA of God is four parts: God, Spirit, Soul and Body. DNA in the natural has four strands as well because we were made in His image. God is triune (three in one), but His DNA is four parts. I totally get it. Thank you Lord, for my understanding, your grace, and your mercy and your love.
Here's a word:
I love you, so I forgive you.
I loved you enough to send my Son.
I loved you enough to redeem you.
I love you enough to save you.
I love you so much more than you will ever know.
Your sins are washed away with the blood of my Son.
I forgive you because I love you.
How I love you.
Be blessed, everyone. Have a safe and wonderful week in spite of what's going on around you.
It's funny how things get mixed up. Mom asked me if I'd heard from Jerry recently, and then informed me he'd been in the hospital with an infection in his heart. She was frantic, and putting herself into a tither worrying about him being alone, and dying alone, and all kinds of stuff. I finally scolded her for all the bad thoughts, and reminded her how I wasn't going to talk to her any more when I told her about my cancer because she had me dead and dying and I was trying to live. She says she can't help it. I think we'll have to start limiting the information we give her when something unpleasant happens. I reminded her that Jerry isn't dad; Jerry has and will have friends. If anything happens to him, someone will notify us. I hope the message got across.
It was nice to visit my home church in Newport, MN. I've missed them a lot. Sunday's teaching by Pastor Tom Marxen boilded down to forgiveness; and how we must forgive if we're going to live in the ocean with Jesus instead of in our little boat with a limited view of everything.
And the DNA of God is four parts: God, Spirit, Soul and Body. DNA in the natural has four strands as well because we were made in His image. God is triune (three in one), but His DNA is four parts. I totally get it. Thank you Lord, for my understanding, your grace, and your mercy and your love.
Here's a word:
I love you, so I forgive you.
I loved you enough to send my Son.
I loved you enough to redeem you.
I love you enough to save you.
I love you so much more than you will ever know.
Your sins are washed away with the blood of my Son.
I forgive you because I love you.
How I love you.
Be blessed, everyone. Have a safe and wonderful week in spite of what's going on around you.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
September 1, 2010
The first day of September. Cindy's birthday, I should have called her. Work was ok, had more work when I got home. I prefer the sewing and crafts, but the rent does have to get paid somehow.
James seems to be doing ok at school, although he is already bored. Must not be a whole lot for him to stay occupied yet. He does have a job, so that will help a bit.
Robin and I are taking Stephanie back after work Friday. We're going to Wisconsin to see mom first, and then on to Mpls. Coming back on Monday, so no internet for a few days. It actually doesn't bother me to not have it. I was surprised, because I use it so much.
Am almost finished with the never ending quilt. I need it to get done and out of here so I can work on other things. I have another quilt, but that one only needs repairs so it won't take nearly as long. And I have to make an afghan for Halloween for someone, so I need to get going on that. And pants to hem, a dress to shorten and curtain panels to make. Busy, busy. The way I like it - busy but not crazy busy. I am not going insane. Thank you, Lord, for that.
Hope everyone has a good Labor Day weekend. Be safe, and be blessed.
James seems to be doing ok at school, although he is already bored. Must not be a whole lot for him to stay occupied yet. He does have a job, so that will help a bit.
Robin and I are taking Stephanie back after work Friday. We're going to Wisconsin to see mom first, and then on to Mpls. Coming back on Monday, so no internet for a few days. It actually doesn't bother me to not have it. I was surprised, because I use it so much.
Am almost finished with the never ending quilt. I need it to get done and out of here so I can work on other things. I have another quilt, but that one only needs repairs so it won't take nearly as long. And I have to make an afghan for Halloween for someone, so I need to get going on that. And pants to hem, a dress to shorten and curtain panels to make. Busy, busy. The way I like it - busy but not crazy busy. I am not going insane. Thank you, Lord, for that.
Hope everyone has a good Labor Day weekend. Be safe, and be blessed.
Monday, August 30, 2010
New Chapter
A new chapter in my life. James has been at school for an entire week. He started @ Minot State University last Monday. It's not really too quiet around here yet because Stephanie is home, but we take her back Friday. A quick visit to mom first, then take Stephanie to school, visit my old church on Sunday, and Robin is going to visit friends, home on Monday with a stop in Iowa on the way, and then back to work on Tuesday. A long weekend, but far too short for all the places we're going.
Someone from church asked me yesterday how my book is coming. I need to get back to work on that. Christmas is coming, and I know that the book would be a good present.
I started my part time job last week. Probably one of the reasons I don't miss James much yet. Worked all week, and then part time this week. I forgot how hard it can be, even when it's an easy job. But it's good, and I'll be fine. I get to work on my knitting and crocheting when it's really, really quiet. That will keep me from going crazy.
Enough for tonight. I keep thanking God for all He's doing for me. My life is good, my health is good, and I have all I need. God is good, and I praise and worship Him for that.
Someone from church asked me yesterday how my book is coming. I need to get back to work on that. Christmas is coming, and I know that the book would be a good present.
I started my part time job last week. Probably one of the reasons I don't miss James much yet. Worked all week, and then part time this week. I forgot how hard it can be, even when it's an easy job. But it's good, and I'll be fine. I get to work on my knitting and crocheting when it's really, really quiet. That will keep me from going crazy.
Enough for tonight. I keep thanking God for all He's doing for me. My life is good, my health is good, and I have all I need. God is good, and I praise and worship Him for that.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Sunday Musings
What a week! It's been busy. I had an interview Tuesday, and found out late Friday that I got the job. Part-time receptionist at the city's Parks & Rec department. James asked how the interview went, and then told me I had the job because I have connections! (The man who interviewed me is James' boss until Wed.) How ironic that it used to be ME who was the connection that got the kids into things! And I didn't get the job because of James, although he didn't hurt, either.
Now we're scrambling to get a laptop for him for school. A friend of mine is giving him a lot (to me) of money towards one, and he has to get the rest. I'm not sure what he'll do...settle for something less expensive or borrow the money through his student loans and get what he really wants. Time for him to learn about the choices he makes. He didn't save any money from his job this summer; it all went in gas and fast food. But he has to learn somehow, and I'm not offering any monetary help with this because I don't have it. I'll be blessed if I manage to keep enough to get him to school and to take Stephanie back on Labor Day weekend.
I've been working on what I call the never ending quilt. But it's getting closer to being finished. I'm on the last side, and then the binding. I'm being told I'm doing a very good job and that I should take up quilting and sell them. Not sure I want to do that, but I might try one to fit a full size bed just to see. It's better for me if I do the entire thing from start to finish instead of picking up someone else's work and trying to finish it. That is so much harder to do.
Tomorrow I have lots to do: get an inspection scheduled for the jeep so I can renew the tabs, go to Huntsville and get the tax info I need for renewing the tabs, pay the water bill, schedule an appt for the van so it's ready for this road trip. We're leaving some time Thursday.
And then the trip! Minneapolis to get Stephanie moved into the new place for the upcoming school year on Friday, Rosemount Friday to see Sean, Andrea and the kids, Rice Lake Saturday to see mom, hopefully Newport to visit the church we used to attend (I really miss going there), Tuesday to St. Cloud and my brother Ken because he's on the way to Minot, Wednesday to Minot and get James moved in, Thursday getting him set up with his meds and whatever else the school requires of me, and head back to Missouri Friday. Since Stephanie doesn't have her license yet, I'll be doing all the driving back. We shall take frequent rest stops.
Church was excellent today in both services. It's really great to feel the move of God. I am so blessed by Him, it puts me in awe of what He can do. I know I sure can't do it all!
Enough straightening things out in my head for tonight. I hope everyone who reads this had a wonderful weekend and has a blessed week.
Now we're scrambling to get a laptop for him for school. A friend of mine is giving him a lot (to me) of money towards one, and he has to get the rest. I'm not sure what he'll do...settle for something less expensive or borrow the money through his student loans and get what he really wants. Time for him to learn about the choices he makes. He didn't save any money from his job this summer; it all went in gas and fast food. But he has to learn somehow, and I'm not offering any monetary help with this because I don't have it. I'll be blessed if I manage to keep enough to get him to school and to take Stephanie back on Labor Day weekend.
I've been working on what I call the never ending quilt. But it's getting closer to being finished. I'm on the last side, and then the binding. I'm being told I'm doing a very good job and that I should take up quilting and sell them. Not sure I want to do that, but I might try one to fit a full size bed just to see. It's better for me if I do the entire thing from start to finish instead of picking up someone else's work and trying to finish it. That is so much harder to do.
Tomorrow I have lots to do: get an inspection scheduled for the jeep so I can renew the tabs, go to Huntsville and get the tax info I need for renewing the tabs, pay the water bill, schedule an appt for the van so it's ready for this road trip. We're leaving some time Thursday.
And then the trip! Minneapolis to get Stephanie moved into the new place for the upcoming school year on Friday, Rosemount Friday to see Sean, Andrea and the kids, Rice Lake Saturday to see mom, hopefully Newport to visit the church we used to attend (I really miss going there), Tuesday to St. Cloud and my brother Ken because he's on the way to Minot, Wednesday to Minot and get James moved in, Thursday getting him set up with his meds and whatever else the school requires of me, and head back to Missouri Friday. Since Stephanie doesn't have her license yet, I'll be doing all the driving back. We shall take frequent rest stops.
Church was excellent today in both services. It's really great to feel the move of God. I am so blessed by Him, it puts me in awe of what He can do. I know I sure can't do it all!
Enough straightening things out in my head for tonight. I hope everyone who reads this had a wonderful weekend and has a blessed week.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Rainy Day
It's been raining a lot lately, and today is another rainy one. At least it stayed clear enough for James to get in a full shift at the pool, where he's a lifeguard.
I'm learning to hold my tongue. James is thinking maybe he doesn't want to go to school in Canada after all. On one hand, I've already paid out a lot of money for him to go there. On the other hand, if the school in North Dakota accepts his final transcripts, he gets a better financial package. AND he'll be able to get to the Twin Cities easier than from Canada. I'm being quiet, answering questions when he asks, and letting him make the choice. Can't push this one on him. I have to let him grow up and make his own decisions. This is what I've been trying to do all those years, right?
Robin has an interview for a full time job Thursday. I hope it's something she wants and that she gets it if it is. Ironic that the kids can get jobs, but I can't. I'm tired of filling out applications. At least I've been starting to get interviews. Have two more to apply for by Friday, and think I'll check out a factory one too. Just gotta have faith that God will put the right one in my face and that I'll know it. It just might be that I'm supposed to wait until after I take James to school, wherever he's going, so I don't have to take time off right away too. Who knows. I certainly don't any more.
Enough for now. Have to work on the "never ending quilt". It's getting closer to being finished, though...finally! I remember why I don't quilt, it takes too long! Be blessed.
I'm learning to hold my tongue. James is thinking maybe he doesn't want to go to school in Canada after all. On one hand, I've already paid out a lot of money for him to go there. On the other hand, if the school in North Dakota accepts his final transcripts, he gets a better financial package. AND he'll be able to get to the Twin Cities easier than from Canada. I'm being quiet, answering questions when he asks, and letting him make the choice. Can't push this one on him. I have to let him grow up and make his own decisions. This is what I've been trying to do all those years, right?
Robin has an interview for a full time job Thursday. I hope it's something she wants and that she gets it if it is. Ironic that the kids can get jobs, but I can't. I'm tired of filling out applications. At least I've been starting to get interviews. Have two more to apply for by Friday, and think I'll check out a factory one too. Just gotta have faith that God will put the right one in my face and that I'll know it. It just might be that I'm supposed to wait until after I take James to school, wherever he's going, so I don't have to take time off right away too. Who knows. I certainly don't any more.
Enough for now. Have to work on the "never ending quilt". It's getting closer to being finished, though...finally! I remember why I don't quilt, it takes too long! Be blessed.
Monday, July 12, 2010
The Mending Heart
As I take these clothes apart
So I can make necessary repairs,
I think about my broken heart
And about how people used to stare.
I wear my heart on my sleeve
Where everyone sees what's going on.
They've seen me broken beyond belief,
And they see me since I met God's son.
I was really quite a mess,
Had trouble holding myself together.
From childhood on were nothing but major tests
That I failed miserably until I met my big brother.
Most clothes I can mend,
But some are too ripped and torn.
Those are the ones I send
To the trash because they're too worn.
I'm so glad God could see
Something good under all my trash.
I'm so glad He finds me worthy
To hold me close and fast.
I'm glad He can heal my heart.
I'm happy He can mend my soul.
I'm so glad He gave me a fresh start,
And that I'm on my way to becoming whole.
As I look at the clothes I mend,
And make some of them like new,
I'm glad God thought it worthwhile to send
His son Jesus, to save not just me, but also you!
So I can make necessary repairs,
I think about my broken heart
And about how people used to stare.
I wear my heart on my sleeve
Where everyone sees what's going on.
They've seen me broken beyond belief,
And they see me since I met God's son.
I was really quite a mess,
Had trouble holding myself together.
From childhood on were nothing but major tests
That I failed miserably until I met my big brother.
Most clothes I can mend,
But some are too ripped and torn.
Those are the ones I send
To the trash because they're too worn.
I'm so glad God could see
Something good under all my trash.
I'm so glad He finds me worthy
To hold me close and fast.
I'm glad He can heal my heart.
I'm happy He can mend my soul.
I'm so glad He gave me a fresh start,
And that I'm on my way to becoming whole.
As I look at the clothes I mend,
And make some of them like new,
I'm glad God thought it worthwhile to send
His son Jesus, to save not just me, but also you!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Empty Vessel
I am nothing but an empty vessel
That needs to be filled up.
On the days I am overflowing with bad things,
I pray to God and ask Him to take them from me.
There are times when I am so empty,
I am not any good for any one.
Those are the times I ask God to fill me up.
Fill me with your love, oh Lord.
That is what I seek.
Fill me with your hope, oh Lord.
It's you this empty vessel needs.
Oh God, fill me with your joy.
Let it overflow out of me.
Take my cup, oh God, and fill it to overflowing.
Help me become who you want me to be.
I pray, oh Lord, htat you fill this empty vessel.
Fill me up and set me free.
That needs to be filled up.
On the days I am overflowing with bad things,
I pray to God and ask Him to take them from me.
There are times when I am so empty,
I am not any good for any one.
Those are the times I ask God to fill me up.
Fill me with your love, oh Lord.
That is what I seek.
Fill me with your hope, oh Lord.
It's you this empty vessel needs.
Oh God, fill me with your joy.
Let it overflow out of me.
Take my cup, oh God, and fill it to overflowing.
Help me become who you want me to be.
I pray, oh Lord, htat you fill this empty vessel.
Fill me up and set me free.
Quiet Time
The house is quiet. Robin is at work and James went to play basketball. No tv, no radio, and Rusty is sleeping at my feet. What joy when it's quiet! I don't understand the need people feel for noise all the time. My ears hurt, I get a headache, and I feel bombarded when I don't get peace and quiet. Don't misunderstand, I do like noise. I like to talk to people, I like to listen to music (but not full blast very often), I like to hear people in other rooms and know I'm not alone.
But I like alone time. I can think then. Or I can zone out if I want to, and not think at all because I've been thinking too much. It's easier to write when it's quiet. And God gave us a day of rest so we could have peace and quiet.
I do have work I need to finish. I do have chores that need doing. But those are always there. Peace and quiet are not, so I am taking advantage of it. I need to clear my brain, to slow down, to see, touch and smell the good things so I can be rejuvenated. An empty vessel needs to be filled up so it can give more. I like being an empty vessel and being filled with God's love and peace and joy.
Proverbs 17:1 Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than an house full of sacrifices with strife. (KJ)
Genesis 2:2 And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made. (KJ)
So for this hour or so I will rest in the peace that God has seen fit to give to me. And when James gets home, I will be ready to cook supper, to listen to him, etc. etc. I need a new poem about peace, I think.
But I like alone time. I can think then. Or I can zone out if I want to, and not think at all because I've been thinking too much. It's easier to write when it's quiet. And God gave us a day of rest so we could have peace and quiet.
I do have work I need to finish. I do have chores that need doing. But those are always there. Peace and quiet are not, so I am taking advantage of it. I need to clear my brain, to slow down, to see, touch and smell the good things so I can be rejuvenated. An empty vessel needs to be filled up so it can give more. I like being an empty vessel and being filled with God's love and peace and joy.
Proverbs 17:1 Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than an house full of sacrifices with strife. (KJ)
Genesis 2:2 And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made. (KJ)
So for this hour or so I will rest in the peace that God has seen fit to give to me. And when James gets home, I will be ready to cook supper, to listen to him, etc. etc. I need a new poem about peace, I think.
Monday, July 5, 2010
4th of July
4th of July, Independence Day here in the US. A question got asked at church: What does it mean to you to be an American? I started to write down all the things it means to me, freedom to worship as I choose, no armed soldiers on corners, freedom to read, write, speak what I want, and so much more. And then I remembered a poem I wrote, and got to read it. It's published in my book "Expressions of Joy".
The Color of My Heart
The color of my heart is red, white and blue
To God and my country, my heart is faithful and true.
For God and America, I'll make a stand
To protect my rights and freedoms in this great land.
I want to live a life full of fire
To work, play and worship as I desire.
To live my life without fear or shame,
To not need someone else to blame.
To walk in the streets bold and upright,
To live a life in the open, out in the light.
To not worry about what I read, write or say,
To do what I want, each and every day.
I'm willing to take on freedom's responsibilities,
To help people over here...and overseas.
I'll support my leaders, whether or not I agree,
Differences of opinion are allowed in the land of the free.
And since the inside of my heart really is red,
I'll weep with those families where blood was shed
Fighting to protect people in other lands,
Those American GIs, every woman and man.
They made a choice, followed orders from the boss.
They did their jobs, at a very high cost.
They're keeping America safe for you and me.
American the beautiful, America the free.
For all this, I'll bless my Father above,
And may God bless America, land that I love.
So for me, the 4th of July is more than fireworks, picnics, having fun. It's a way of life I don't want to end, and I'll continue to respect the offices of this country's leaders even if I don't agree with them, I'll vote, I'll help people where I can, and I will continue to walk in the path God has chosen for me, even when I'm not sure where that path is leading here on this earth. Life is an adventure, and I am willing to experience it as long as I am supposed to. Some days I can hardly wait for the adventure of seeing Jesus face to face. I think heaven will never be boring, or lonely, or any of the bad/sad things we go through here. Some days I want this journey to finish quickly, and others I think it won't be long enough to do all I need to do. What a dilemma!
The Color of My Heart
The color of my heart is red, white and blue
To God and my country, my heart is faithful and true.
For God and America, I'll make a stand
To protect my rights and freedoms in this great land.
I want to live a life full of fire
To work, play and worship as I desire.
To live my life without fear or shame,
To not need someone else to blame.
To walk in the streets bold and upright,
To live a life in the open, out in the light.
To not worry about what I read, write or say,
To do what I want, each and every day.
I'm willing to take on freedom's responsibilities,
To help people over here...and overseas.
I'll support my leaders, whether or not I agree,
Differences of opinion are allowed in the land of the free.
And since the inside of my heart really is red,
I'll weep with those families where blood was shed
Fighting to protect people in other lands,
Those American GIs, every woman and man.
They made a choice, followed orders from the boss.
They did their jobs, at a very high cost.
They're keeping America safe for you and me.
American the beautiful, America the free.
For all this, I'll bless my Father above,
And may God bless America, land that I love.
So for me, the 4th of July is more than fireworks, picnics, having fun. It's a way of life I don't want to end, and I'll continue to respect the offices of this country's leaders even if I don't agree with them, I'll vote, I'll help people where I can, and I will continue to walk in the path God has chosen for me, even when I'm not sure where that path is leading here on this earth. Life is an adventure, and I am willing to experience it as long as I am supposed to. Some days I can hardly wait for the adventure of seeing Jesus face to face. I think heaven will never be boring, or lonely, or any of the bad/sad things we go through here. Some days I want this journey to finish quickly, and others I think it won't be long enough to do all I need to do. What a dilemma!
Sunday, July 4, 2010
My Heart
My heart is red,
Covered by the blood Jesus shed.
My heart is strong,
Because it's to God to whom it belongs.
My heart is white,
Filled with God's holy light.
My heart is overflowing with joy,
Full of praise for God to enjoy.
My heart is blue,
Covered with the bumps and bruises
Given to me by a life
Surrounded by chaos and strife.
And my heart is whole
As Jesus heals my soul.
So my heart is red, white and blue,
And dependent on God, who is faithful and true.
Covered by the blood Jesus shed.
My heart is strong,
Because it's to God to whom it belongs.
My heart is white,
Filled with God's holy light.
My heart is overflowing with joy,
Full of praise for God to enjoy.
My heart is blue,
Covered with the bumps and bruises
Given to me by a life
Surrounded by chaos and strife.
And my heart is whole
As Jesus heals my soul.
So my heart is red, white and blue,
And dependent on God, who is faithful and true.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Today's Musings, 6-30-2010
This is my first blog, ever! And I shall try to be regular with it. A place to put my poetry, my thoughts, and whatever I happen to be thinking of at the time. I don't want to be mundane, which is what this seems to be at the moment.
It's the last day of June. 2010 is half over, and I wonder what exactly I have accomplished so far this year. I've been writing new poetry. I've been building the sewing business. I've been going to Poetry and Punch almost every month. I've been going to Knit & Crochet Club almost every Tuesday morning. That's my day off, with some time for me even though I keep on working all the time.
Robin and James are watching a movie. They both have the day off. Amazing! It's the same day! James is leaving for school in Canada at the end of August. I'll miss him, but I'll be glad to have more room in the house. I know he's going to grow so much while he's in school.
Time to go back to work. I'll think about what I'm going to write next time. I hope everyone has a wonderfully blessed day.
It's the last day of June. 2010 is half over, and I wonder what exactly I have accomplished so far this year. I've been writing new poetry. I've been building the sewing business. I've been going to Poetry and Punch almost every month. I've been going to Knit & Crochet Club almost every Tuesday morning. That's my day off, with some time for me even though I keep on working all the time.
Robin and James are watching a movie. They both have the day off. Amazing! It's the same day! James is leaving for school in Canada at the end of August. I'll miss him, but I'll be glad to have more room in the house. I know he's going to grow so much while he's in school.
Time to go back to work. I'll think about what I'm going to write next time. I hope everyone has a wonderfully blessed day.
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